Thank You Candy and Other Stuff

Thank you, Candy. When the cry goes out for aid, she's the Bitch in a Pinch. Just the sort of superhero we all need, like Framing man.

My oldest is turning 16 late September. I'm reeling around the house moaning howthfuckdidthathappen16yearsomigodhe'ssobig....

what do I get him? He says gift cards (i.e. money) but I think there must be some sort of traditional gift, other than a sportscar. What did you get for your 16th birthday?


  1. I got a pair of overall jeans that were two sizes too small for me from my dad - who could never see me growing up - and a phone call from my mom two days later apologising for missing my birhtday again. She has a good excuse - her five brothers are all born in July too.

  2. My 16th birthday was hell on wheels.

    Please don't get for your child what my parents got for me: a forgotten birthday. I don't think, no wait, scratch that, I know I have never forgiven them for it.

    Pity Party--bring the lemonade.

    But for your son, is there an electronic device (iPod, etc.) which he wishes to upgrade or have? We always got albums as teenagers, but I think in the days of music downloads that's ratha passe.

  3. A Matchbox sportscar, a gift card and a wrapped shirtbox full of job applications. *g*

  4. Anonymous5:50 PM

    1. Books

    2. Money

    3. Condoms (from my friends)*

    * Did not even come close to needing those until three years later. I think me and my friends ended up blowing them up into balloons.

  5. I got him condoms (on the advice of a home health nurse romance writer who was trying to network with booksellers and had to advise me instead. Hi Janice!) When I tried to hand them to him he spazzed out and ran away.

    "Come on, kid, just play with them, okay?" I said. "I don't want the first time you need them to be the first time you mess with them. Just one, okay? Turn it into a water balloon or something."

    No dice. He locked himself in his room.

    I put them in a drawer in the bathroom and told him they're there.

  6. Anonymous8:12 PM

    You need to stop by my place. I have something for you.

  7. Anonymous8:31 PM

    Kate: You are the awesomest. Like, ever.

    Oh, the mortification your son musta felt. I'm still chuckling.

  8. ((((Suisan))))) I hope you gave them holy hell for the rest of the time you lived with them.

    I'm not likely to forget this kid's birthday. It's the same as mine. He was the best present I ever got and the hardest to unwrap.

    The other two...hmmm. They might have to remind me.

  9. Most of what I got for my 16th birthday were books, titles pre-selected and assigned to different relatives, so I'd get something I really wanted to read instead of kids books I'd outgrown years before.

    Then there was my grandma, who instead of buying the books she should have bought me, decided that what I really needed was a scratchy undershirt (the size was wrong, too) and a bottle of awful perfume. She also had the bright idea to wrap the bottle of perfume into the undershirt, so it fell onto the floor when I unwrapped the package and promptly shattered. It took days to get rid of the smell.

    Grandma was always a bit confused about age-appropriate presents. When I was twelve, she gave me a curling iron that I'm convinced was intended for my cousin (who was 19 or 20 at the time). When I was 17, I got a carrying basket for a baby doll.

    I also have faint memories of getting a purple glittery hair ornament (it was 1989 and such things were in style), an equally glittery pen and a notebook, all presents from friends.

  10. It's amazing to me that you all remember what you got. I can't even recall what I got last year (oh, wait. yes I can...nothing) much less mumblemumble years ago.

  11. cora? you mean purple glittery hair ornaments are now out?

    I wish I could get the kid to give me a list of books he wants.

  12. I got see WWF westling live in boston (Hulk Hogan tapped my hand!), second row, and I got tickets to see Cyndi Lauper.

    So, uhm: Concert Tickets!!

  13. Anonymous5:30 PM

    The only thing more depressing than forgetting what I got for my 16th birthday is having the woman who avowed she wanted to have my babies (a long time ago, but a guy doesn't forget something like that easily) ignore the nude photo of himself he posted on his blog.



  14. Anonymous5:32 PM

    I mean, I shouldn't have to beg for you to come over and appreciate my naked body --

    Wait. You're not my wife. Why are we having this conversation again?

  15. Snort. I took off my clothes the other day in front of my husband for the first time in ...well, a very very long time.

    He said "whoa, damn"
    I was offended until it turned out he was referring to a report on television about some red sox player who has cancer.

    I considered being more offended but got dressed instead.

  16. Anonymous5:57 PM

    "Whoa, damn" could have been good. Could have been awesome. You can bet if my wife stripped down in front of me, I would take full advantage of the situation.

    No, the NiP's got me down. I keep thinking I should have had them screw and then they live happily ever after, no conflict. Conflict depresses me.

  17. Well, with the 1980s making a comeback, maybe purple glittery things to stick in your hair are back in style again.

    Actually, I may still have that thing, somewhere at the bottom of the box that holds hairstuff I hardly ever use.

  18. Socks are always a good choice.

  19. oh yeah, I could just see that. Socks. I'd be minus a boy because he'd just leave.


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