Showing posts from December, 2007

My favorite protest song

Sung by my favorite actor. It's Bertie Wooster! (or Greg House, depending) My kid, who's going through a Dylan phase, showed it to me and there was much rejoicing. He showed me a better version over at youtube but the bugger who put it up won't let us embed. What's the point of figuring out how to do youtube, eh? Okay, okay. here's a link to that one ... or you can click on the less polished, embedded one below if you're lazy.

lament of a technophobe, part XXVII

My webpages are stagnant. I can't remember how to play with them and nothing's changed for months. If I mess around, it's here, on myspace or in my facebook account that I got to annoy my boys. But I paid to have nice designs made! I like my damn pages. So I suppose they're the online equivalent of a print book. Just floating around the web, talking about events that happened years ago no reference to the present or future. Dinosaurs. Occasionally someone signs up for a Kate Rothwell newsletter and then sends back a "take me off the list" note when I send out a Summer Devon bit of news. I really should update the prices of the socks. I wish I'd managed to load pictures of the latest couple of covers. No, I'm not actually just sitting here in the dark, don't mind me, I'll be fine. I've had gracious offers from blog readers to actually help me. The trouble is they won't take pay, the bassets, and there are only so many socks they'r

dumb stuff

I entered the RITAs, but I'm not sure why I bothered. I'm also not sure why, once I shelled out the dough, I didn't bother to pay better attention to things like rules and whatnot. I thought they needed the books by mid-January. Last week I got the email saying yo, dudette, we need the stuff by 1/1. Whoops, time to use priority mail. Fast forward two days. . . And hey, wait a sec. What's that copy on the shelf? Wait. ..hey.... that's supposed to be in the package to Texas. So then another run to the post office for express mail. We're talking expensive, and silly expensive at that. Add on the apologetic coffees I'm buying for the RWA peeps ( if one messes up and makes innocent administrative types lives harder, and they're polite [eg don't get the satisfaction of calling you names], one must buy them coffee . That is a rule of life my mother taught me.) and I could have bought something more likely to bring me joy and pleasure, like a buncha p


What do Benazir Bhutto and Archduke Ferdinand have in common? Nothing beyond assassination, I hope.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN-- Good things about Christmas

It's not Thursday yet, on the other hand, Christmas is past, so that this TT is placed just about right. Uh huh, yeah, there are so 13 things I like about Christmas. Here's a post-game round up: 1. No proscribed meal that I can figure out. Thanksgiving = Turkey. It. Must. Be. Turkey. Easter seems to be lamb or ham, I think. We can eat whatever on Christmas. I suppose Goose is the required meal? Not going to happen until goose is 99 cents at Stop and Shop. (that's the price of our Christmas turkey). 2. The items the kids put on the tree. Many are sweet homemade ornaments they made themselves years ago. Some are random. I think I saw a Magic Card held on with a paper clip. 3. David Sedaris's 6-8 Black Men plays in the background at some point during the holidays. 4. We don't go any where. We used to for years and years--decades--but now we stay put and squabble and do jigsaw puzzles. 5. My husband, who hates jigsaw puzzles, will do one with me. He curses and

HO. HO. HO. part two

That thing about suicide rates during the holiday season? Not true. They don't go up. When I read an article about that, my first response was "wow, people are stronger than I would have guessed." Happy Boxing Day! PS We had a perfectly decent Christmas around here. One attempt at Christmas carols was quashed (second verse of "Away in A Manger" proved too bizarre.) Presents were opened. Just the immediate family, which is fine. It'll all get complicated next year when college starts.

hawt infertile love

Lyn Cash, Alexis Fleming, other writers and I have fun sometimes with coming up with stories based on a theme. It's always a good time for me when I play with other people's ideas (that's how I got Invisible Touch ). Lyn threw out one about a guy who was a hot ticket--at a sperm bank. Remember the story that hit the news about a particular donor ? That got her thinking and then nagging. I signed on to play but I started thinking about one of the reasons couples use those donors: Infertility. We experienced five years of infertility and, now, a gazillion years and three babies later, one of my most vivid memories is how one's sex life turns into a baby-making life. When people say "have fun with it!" it's worse than when people ask if you're done with your holiday shopping on December 23 and you're not.... but that's a different story. Anyway. I ended up writing a story about an infertile woman rediscovering her sexuality. Someone suggeste


This is the time of year that brings out the need to go do something festive, partake in a special event. Some people go to the Nutcracker, or maybe a production of A Christmas Carol. My kid wants go see this over Christmas break . To be fair, it wasn't his idea. A pal came up with the plan--one of my pals. Pretty damn pricey performance by amateurs (none of the bodies were trained professionals at being bodies, eh?) , that's how I can tell it's in the holiday tradition.

Candidate I Would Most Like to Have a Beer With: Mitt Romney

Of course, as a Mormon, he won't have that beer, which means I get both of them. --stolen from dailykos (of course there's a whole lot more , but that was the part I liked)

how the HELL did they know??

You Are Socks! Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet. What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

Deck The Halls

Two years ago I wrote a bemused note about Christmas cards . Life must have changed since then because this year, I'm mostly appreciative, not befuddled, when I get mail. But one main fact remains true: that I don't seem to send out cards. Thank you for sending them to me, though. I especially love cards with photos, and especially cards of photos that happen to include a little girl with face paint. Yay!

I am stubborn! Hear me Roar

the following is not snark: You know the best thing about getting a letter from an earnest--and I think young--writer listing the things I do wrong in two of my stories? And I mean a point-by-point, not the big overall "it sucks" of a negative review. The best thing: After I read the letter a second time, I grew convinced that I am doing it all the right way. It was a shot in the arm of yeah! I'm fine! THAT is why I know I really will be fine. I can tell good crits from bad. I can recognize advice that's basically worthless (or just opinion, which isn't worthless, but might not work for me) and advice that's on target. In this post I hereby celebrate my ability to learn from other people--and even better, my ability to ignore them. That second one's not always been true. Yay, me. Of course I have no interest in actually getting back to work after getting my unsolicited advice letter. ("You need more stronger conflict," was actually the

Thursday Thirteen scolding nagging whining questions

1. What is it with you authors? I give you a perfectly easy way to publicize your books and you don't send me your lists. Who's organizing your lives? Hire a publicist! And if she's any good, send me her address. 2. Who's idea was it to have ice fall out of the sky? it makes no sense, people. Rain, sure. Snow if you must. But what's with the tippity tappity of ice? Unnatural. 3. Why is it as soon as I decide I have a great system in place (one hour of writing, ten minutes activity) I undermine my system and blog hop? 4. Hey, kid, how many times do you have to play Hier Kommt Alex ? Don't you think that's enough? And what kind of name is Die Toten Hosen (the Dead Trousers)? 5. Who left the chocolate cake where I could find it? 6. Who left the remote on the couch so that when the kid sat on it, the batteries ran down? 7. Even with "Heir Kommt Alex" blaring on Guitar Hero 3, why do I have a Christmas carol blaring in my head. Granted at l

if you're looking for an agent

The more I use it, the more I like query tracker . Their information is more up-to-date than most of the other trackers I've looked at (more up-to-date than the dang agent websites, that's for sure) and the system is easy to figure out. I wish I could do things a little differently--not have it be organized by manuscript, for instance--but that's ok. Every system I don't design I'm certain I can improve. Of course, I don't design a system and that's the main flaw with that particular whine. The non-system I had been using was several pieces of paper with writing on them--and those papers are on the computer, too. Use Excell, another writer told me. Ooo, that gave me sweaty flashbacks to the time I attempted tax-stuff with Excell. I'd rather suck all the snot out of a dog's head** than try to figure out those damned cell-thingies formulas again. I paid the $25 and it's probably the best money I've invested in my so-called career this year

PSA and Perfection

two photos. first-- a shocking story that should teach parents to pay attention to their kids' online activity (stolen from I'm not sure where or I'd give credit where due. Not here, that's all I know.) Click on it to read. and then-- A Christmas present for you guys. Although I should point out we're talking sour grapes for me. What can I say except damn you, Pam LaBud. Damn. You. She sent this around to various pals, crowing about her good luck on her Dutch translation's cover. It IS The Perfect Cover with only one flaw: the wind seems to be blowing in the same direction. The Absolute Perfect One has the wind gusting in two directions for maximum hair ripple and gown flowage. And yet it could be argued this is even better for, lo, it does allow for his hair action, which is primo. eve: the hair!!!! I have no words for the hair. flo: It's Gaston from Beauty and the Beast You have to feel sorry for the dude who's hav

c'mon you guys

where's the tension? not even a squee of anticipation? and Linda? Where are you? I'm gonna hold my breath and just wait until someone begs me to tell. holding. .... . holding. ..... aw heck, I have to get out of here because my husband is watching Showdown at Area 51 and I can't take much more of the dialogue ("I have a bad feeling about this"). Green. She said she likes green. So Sam is the winner! But I don't think it's Sam Winston, is it? So the Sam in question should track down Linda Winfree and demand the goods, as in a good read. It's up to you two to figure it out. I have to flee bad teevee before the alien blasts someone else's arm off and we get a close up of the spraying stump.
We already have a winner in the Linda Winfree contest! You all are going to have to wait for Linda to announce it. Or I will, when I get back from my local meeting where I'll be leading a workshop Writer Party Games, Dammit, Hey, Shut Up and Do These Fun Exercises also known as a kind of Christmas party. I'm giving out writerly prizes, too, like Donald Maass'ss The Career Novelist . I'll hand out BISW (book in seven weeks) packets which were supposed to be gorgeous but are envelopes stuffed with paper. Follow through is a bitch for some people. The meeting's in South Glastonbury if any of you want to show up for an envelope and haranguing. Somehow I imagine--a couple of weeks before Christmas, the streets near the library clogged with unplowed snow (it's on-street parking)--we won't have a lot of attendees. Heck, if I weren't the one doing this, I wouldn't go. I rarely do these days. . .


The Eppie contest must be a fairly big deal. I've gotten about 20 emails** congratulating me for finalling . Most of the emails are coming from strangers which means they're looking me up. Wow. * * * Look, I'm having a Linda Winfree contest And I have to figure it what happens in it? I'm feeling remarkably lazy about people have until Sunday to GU ESS LIN DA 'S FAVO RITE COLOR . (This is lifted straight from chats.) First person to guess right, wins the prize. step one: Linda, think of a color step two: Everyone else , post a color in this comment section or maybe at Linda's spot. If no one guesses, then I get the book. Linda, you decide which book. I hope it's Tick's story because I haven't read that one yet. I'll hold off buying it until Sunday. * * * We had 11 inches of snow yesterday and I shoved kids outside to play in the winter wonderland. At one point, my neighbor called just to say how sweet it was to watch he

ah, good times.

I think I'm going to hold a contest soon only because I was cleaning out the bathroom cupboard just now and found an extra box of this shiny hair stuff. I'll give it away in the contest. Updated. Oh! I know. Maybe I'll give it to Dean in lieu of one of the other prizes which I still owe him. I've seen photos of him and know this would be particularly appropriate. ..For his wife, sxkitten.


warning: this green bit is all about how brilliant I am and not much about Linda. She's one of those people I knew would be published . I read her unpubbed work and thought any minute . So I was off by a year but...Ha! I knew it. She has a new book out. I haven't read it yet but I will. Oh, yes. I will read her books. And here's my review of another Winfree book . Linda Winfree talks about Linda Winfree 1. I was a child bride. I’m almost 38 and will celebrate 19 years of marriage the same month. You do the math. (Oh, heavens. That’s half my life I’ve been married. That’s kinda . . . frightening.) 2. I have two Monsters. One is looking me in the eye and can outrun me since he started cross country. He’s very smart and wants to be an architect (he did not inherit the math or artistic ability he has from me). The other . . . The other is very smart and will one day take over the world. Be afraid. Be very afraid. 3. I’ve been the wife of a cop, truck driver, logistics ma

Look! Sometimes the notes in my mailbox aren't rejections

Or offers to a1de me get the man-tool enlargment I deserve to satisfy my lady * * * Dear Summer, On behalf of the EPIC Board and the EPPIE Committee, we are please to inform you that your e-book, The Knight's Challenge , has been selected as a finalist in the Erotic Romance Fantasy/Paranormal . Please accept our congratulations. We wish you luck in the final round of judging. The 2008 EPPIEs will be awarded at the awards ceremony on March 8, 2008 during EPICon in Portland, Oregon. Again our congratulations and good luck in the finals. Carol MacLeod 2008 EPPIE Chair

I'm gone

I'd said goodbye to my old agent a few months ago. Every now and then, I'd cruise by her spot and see my face there. But now I'm gone from her site and I feel sad, even though I was the one who said this isn't working (well, okay, she hinted there was a problem earlier when I bombarded the poor woman with stuff). So here on the blog I can stop saying "publishing professional" and start saying "agent"----- that is if I keep talking about rejections. I'm bored with the subject to be honest. I might be more enthusiastic now that I've discovered query tracker. What a great place, I think. I hope. Anything that helps keep track of Stuff is wonderful which is why PBW is my hero. IF anyone asks, I'll tell you that my old agent is wonderful, personable, professional and smart and, no, I'm not lying. It's just that some one else will be flinging the spaghetti** ___________ ** t hat's from the old line about publishing. The pro
Terry Pratchett announces at Paul Kidby's site ** that he's not dead yet (but oy, Pratchett. I'm sorry t o hear the rest of this). He writes: "I would have liked to keep this one quiet for a little while, but because of upcoming conventions and of course the need to keep my publishers informed, it seems to me unfair to withhold the news. I have been diagnosed with a very rare form of early onset Alzheimer's, which lay behind this year's phantom 'stroke'. "We are taking it fairly philosophically down here and possibly with a mild optimism. For now work is continuing on the completion of Nation and the basic notes are already being laid down for Unseen Academicals. All other things being equal, I expect to meet most current and, as far as possible, future commitments but will discuss things with the various organisers. Frankly, I would prefer it if people kept things cheerful, because I think there's time for at least a few more books yet.

stuff, or more evidence of masochism

Unrequited Lurve. Another rejection and hey, maybe she reads my blog because she did exactly what I asked for in a rejection. She said nice things about my writing and she added, politely, too bad because my stories don't match her needs. In other words, don't waste our time. AND she wrote back fast. I have to love her even if (sob) she doesn't love me. HEY. GoDDAMn it. The bird clock is off. Seven is the cooing mourning dove. My life is all off because it's chirruping like a chickadee. Hell and DAMNation, this is reminding me how I hate that clock and I've hated it for years and years and yet I change the battery for the chirping. I try to adjust it so that the blue jay hits 4 pm, like it's supposed to. A while back I bought a train whistle clock intending to give that sucker to the people who gave us the bird clock. I think I gave it to a two-year-old instead. We're still waiting for the kid's parents to strike back. Every time hideous things app

don't try this at home.

I think it's been established that calling from work and asking what's for dinner two hours after I've served dinner and cleaned up the kitchen isn't the best idea. But that's not the dangerous part, the part that needs to be changed. We have two people who don't like to get angry. It pisses us off to get mad. So instead of a small snap of "I don't know what you'll eat. Cereal. Pizza. I'm done making goddamn dinner." ending it, there's more. He makes the effort to stay out of trouble which gets him mad at me about getting pissed off about the dinner thing. And I'm tee'd off at him for getting pissed off and then at me for snapping about a stupid little point. I mean, why can't I make dinner twice? What a bitch I am and what a bastard he is for making me feel like a bitch and ooooooo I'm so angry. . and. See? It just gets too complex. What we need in our marriage is someone who likes a good fight instead of resenting

since I'm critiquing rejections

My absolute favorite (excepting the ones that swoon about my most excellent rioting, oooo, Kate if only we could publish this, I love it, ooooo, it's wonderful but won't fit our line. oh, Kate you genius, you! ) : Years ago I got a rejection from an agent and it was printed on THE BACK OF A PAGE FROM SOMEONE'S MANUSCRIPT. Seriously. A page of some poor writer's work. I guess it was flat, looked blank and the agent just jammed it into the copier. I emailed the agent saying ummm, scuse me, should I send this back? and never heard from her again.

critiquing one of today's rejections

Dear Today's Publishing Pro, Thank you. You wrote back in less than a month. Your simple "I just didn't love it enough" really is okay. Sure, I'd love feedback, but you don't owe me more than that one line. In fact, that one line reminds me that it's subjective, which can be interpreted as an encouraging sort of a no. Not the best kind of no which goes on and on about Kate, great writing style, please, let me see more . I'm only grateful you took the time to write because a lot of people don't even bother with that. I frequently follow up rejections with " Should I send something else? Or have you seen enough of my work to know that my voice won't work for you? " You said go ahead, send more. Hmmm. People usually do. But I hope you guys don't ask for more of my stuff just to make me feel better. Thanks, but no thanks is absolutely a acceptable answer to that question. I am going to take the time to print out more stuff,

Jeebus, no wonder I'm in trouble.

"We take our bearings, daily, from others. To be sane is, to a great extent, to be sociable." - John Updike * * * We're having a corn dog gian moment here (corn doggian = strange, random and spooky event in what appears to be a normal world until you look a little closer. Often features animals, such as birds). The crows have landed. Hundreds of them, flapping, strutting, cawing, feasting on squirrel road kill. No wonder they call it a murder of crows-those guys look dangerous. I think this band could take down a fair sized dog if they decided to work together. They're too smart in a chilly bird-brained way. I'd take a picture but then I'd have to have a camera, wouldn't I. I might do SBD later. And in other news, I think facebook is more fun than myspace and dangerous, as Tanya pointed out. I'm posting notes in my kids' friends' places and I'm sure that's as horrible and thoughtless as kissing a fifth grader right smack on the s

Go on, YOU try it.

Man, this game gets hard. Mike, a boy and I got up to level fifty but a lot of it was guessing. Pretty amazing. Mike does crossword puzzles (I'm talking the NY Times Sunday in pen and starting in one corner working his way across without stopping) and the boy plays Magic cards which does wonders for your vocab (especially when it comes to words relating to murder, weapons and destruction)

ten good things about RWA

God. I am bound and determined to be flipping upbeat. Selah and anyone else stifling laughter., don't Start with me. Okay, that's a thinly disguised plea with you to Start something. 1. There are online chapters for everyone. And if there isn't one you like, you can start one. and if people protest that yours isn't really romance or acceptable to decent people, you can raise hell as a Member. 2 And if someone disses your new chapter, you can write long letters to RWR that will get published. And even run for office.** 3. Dallas isn't as bad as everyone says, and anyway, if the meeting is there, you can always wait a year and go to the meeting in another state. 4. The costumes. Yes, I know, I was one of the people saying WTF about the costumes. But that was another day, another rant. I like watching people in funky clothes having fun--as long as no one tells me I have to dress up. Anyway, the costumes might not be Fantasy World Convention amazing, but there ar

she's still not done being bitter?

Apparently not. Sorry Dear Kate I’m afraid I must decline on this project right now, but I do want to encourage you to continue submitting. Just because a project isn’t quite right for me doesn’t mean [acceptance for your work] isn’t just around the corner. I wish you the best of luck with all your writing endeavors and in the querying and submission process. Persistence pays off, so don’t give up! Best regards Publishing Professional Dear publishing pro, You might want to consider getting two versions of form rejection letters. Next time you say no, please send the one that just says " No thanks, not for me. " For some reason the one above gives me the pip. I think it's because it's obvious you didn't read my query letter or maybe you didn't pay attention to my credentials. In total, I've had about 25 fictional short stories, novellas and novels published. Let's just figure anywhere from 2-8 rejection per project. When we add o

now for something completely

Here's the latest blog addiction I've developed. Daily Coyote.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN--Members of the Organization

I'm so used to having people do my Thursday Post for me. My author bugged out, the swine. I'll just have to beg her harder next time. But all is not lost for the lazy Kate. I loved the comments people made on my last post, so I'll just pick them up and maybe add more. Why bother repeating what's already been said, you ask. Because I love them so much even if they naturally do not reflect my local reality . . And consider it a writing exercise. How about you compose a murder mystery and kill someone in this bunch off and decide which of the survivors is the killer. Devoti's entry doesn't count for this exercise. . it's too easy. Lynn Viehl 1. The Perfectionist: has written exactly three chapters of her first novel which she has presented to her crit group, rewritten, queried and pitched at cons ten thousand, four hundred and eight-seven times. Believes she is the next Danielle Steele. Will never write anything else but those three chapters. 2. The Ch

I finally figured it out

why I don't go to a lot of rioter meetings. Here are various parts one can play at any given local RWA meeting: 1. Learning the craft! It's all about the writing baby! Let's talk BOOKS! PLOT! Characters! 2. Nearly there! Enthusiastic, soon-to-get-the-call person! Wants to talk about her manuscript and really, really wants to talk about the market and publishers and publicity and agents! Ready to be a PROFESSIONAL. 3. Newly published! Feels like she's figured it out and can help other people! Noisy and causing much of the fray and wants to talk about The Call! FEELS LIKE A PROFESSIONAL 4. Published ! Holds court and often doesn't know what she's talking about but still willing to share knowledge! Somewhat noisy. IS A PROFESSIONAL (at least operates like one) 5. Cassandra! Sits in the corner and sez, yeah, wait a few years. Bitter old hag who's been published once then ignored OR has won about 40 contests (the golden heart a few times) and never gotten

If only

I were good at public speaking and had better hair and loved meeting strangers and could schmooze for more than an hour at a time...I'd be an agent. I keep reading such good books that need to be published. Immediately.

I have these books

I wrote some books I'm very fond of but they'll never get published. What do I do with these things? One got lots of enthusiastic rejections and won prizes in unpubbed contests. If I'd just change this bit, I could get it published. But that bit would make the whole story different and no, thanks.** Anyway. Do I put it online for free? Do I toss it out? Do I ask Rob if he'll publish it? I did that with another book I like, but a few years later, I'm not sure it was ready for prime time, but maybe it never would be. And maybe it shouldn't be because some things work better in a rough state. Also... If it's not worth working on because it won't make money, does that mean it should go in the scrap heap? Do I suck it up and toss 'em? I mean, damn, I don't want my name associated with less than perfect work, right? [joke alert. The previous sentence was supposed to be funny] Writers==what do you do with books that might never make it but you'

unrelated to romance

You might want to buy your girl or boy goodies from somewhere other than Victoria's Secret for Christmas. We're getting real stingy around here so I think I'll probably give my man a bag of licorice or something. Maybe two bags if he's lucky. At least I know nothing horrible happened to human or animal to make bags of licorice, except the end product itself is pretty wretched. Pleh.

yikes sbd

okay, I think I've got a pretty good handle on rejection when I listen to this song. (I like the song but the bouncy guy in the video is annoying.) Rejected Novelist Fails Again Lyrics They go ahead and publish any old dross They turn their nose up at me it was literature's loss It's amazing you can carry a sledgehammer down the street Pass parking security without missing a beat Such a clear blue sky and lunch break is soon Elevators descend from all those little grey rooms They'll be coming for me They'll be coming for me [more lyrics here] I'll fill this stink hole city with a dying scream I'll haunt the souls of every man who squashed my dream All the suits and the ties, they're all going to hell . . . [and still more]
I actually clicked on those antique, barnacle encrusted posts I dredged up in that last post. (The barnacles consist of spam. Spammy barnacles! sticky and smooshy.). Spammers have attached the standard gibberishy lists of sites, but in a variety of languages, along with a more old fashioned, out-of-the-blue piece of nonsensical commentary: I agree with you the way you view the issue. I remember Jack London once said everything positive has a negative side; everything negative has positive side. It is also interesting to see different viewpoints & learn useful things in the discussion. signed, Penis Enlargement. Very few "Nice Site!" boring crap. Even my dead posts attract a better class of barnacle.

writing, writing, RIOTING FUN

I'm lying in bed, cutting out pictures from magazines. This will be the Big Party Fun Time for our local group . The Exercises I'm coming up with are pretty Standard but there's a reason they're standard. Just like Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Musical Chairs, they work. (For rioters anyway. Kids, maybe?) Yes, indeedy, I'll be the woman who tries to get everyone at the party to play charades or cranium or who insists that we do need to get a group portrait to mark the occasion. It really is supposed to be a party, so maybe I'll dig out some prizes. I have four lil bags of pictures: male female (we are romance writers after all--I'm sticking to humancentric stories, but they can also pick m/m f/f if they want.) location and optional object. (potential plot device!) I'll divide the victims participants into groups and make 'em pick a picture from each bag. Then the groups have write BACK COPY! YAY! Kind of like my old contests (they were fun

fuck fuck fuckettty fuck

I see people have been using that phrase in the UK for years, but I first encountered it in Who Stole My Blackberry . It's especially good when heard as a book on tape and Mahtin Short ** Lukes burbles the words and nonwords over and over. I wanted a useful curse a couple of hours ago because I blew out my back by having a coughing fit and because that's got to be even dumber than the time I killed myself by bending over to pick up a lettuce leaf. fucketty fuck. Hmmm, best method is a big build up with final burst of emphatic obscenity at the end: fuck FUCK FUCK FUCKETTY FUCK ! if you're going to have a potty mouth, don't be namby pamby about it. ___________ ** NO, Martin Short is so not Martin Lukes. I blame the drugs.

contest, but first dumb stuff because

it's my blog and I'm in the mood. The headlines today said Iconical Stuntman Evel Knievel is dead. Only I thought it said Laconical. Heh. Evel Knievel laconical? Now, maybe, but not so much before. I have never seen an episode of Grey's Anatomy so that bloffle is right out for me, Sam. Sorry. Does Scrubs count? Because they referenced GA once. I haven't seen Desperate Housewives and I hear it'll be too late on account of a big old tornado. The contest is fun, I loved the entries--EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Do you know how weird that is? Usually in contests a few make me go eww, hmmm , blah. Not this time. Here's the down side: there isn't a lot of tension about who won. I don't even have to go count the votes because we all know it's number two, Dean. "So, it's been a while. Whatcha been doing?" He scuffs the pavement with a Converse All-Star. "Nothing much." Her arms are crossed. He glances at the phone in his hands.