I stink at first lines and at back copy, so of course I always look for good ones so I can feel...what's the opposite of schadenfreude? Schadenangst? Schadensorge? Envy?

Over at her myspace journal Amie Stuart's posted the first line of her WIP:

To his friends and family, he was Will; to everyone else, he was God, as in "Please God, don't kill me."

I read it and wonder, hey, is plagiarism so bad? Will anyone notice if I steal it? I'd change it a bit.

Comments

  1. Anonymous9:23 AM

    Thanks, Kate!

    I was having a bad day, feeling like a loser, and NOW I have First Line Envy.

    Wanna maybe come over my house, kick me in the shins and make fun of my clothes?

    Cheers,
    Tracy MacNish

    ReplyDelete
  2. Suisan9:33 AM

    To his lovers and co-workers, he was Dave; to everyone else, he was Dude, as in "Hey Dude, you wanna go bowling?"

    Now you just need to write a WIP based on a laid back bowler rather than a cool assassin, and you should be fine. OK. I guess not.

    That was really in bad taste. I feel bad now. (Kidding, Amie Stuart! Just making a joke!)

    I LOVE the original as a first line though. Really. Need to go wash the envy away with a strong cup of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Carrie Lofty10:27 AM

    The envy made me gag a bit.

    Suisan's right tho, in that it makes for a pretty nifty formula. "To his frat brothers and drinking buddies, he was Jimmy; to everyone else, he was Dickweed, as in "Hey Dickweed, get your hand off my ass."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bonnie Dee12:10 PM

    OMG, I admire someone who can so concisely give facts, bring on the humor and pique interest all in one sentence! That is a phenomenal first line.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kate12:50 PM

    Tracy, only if I bring my dog to throw up on your carpets, too, k? And now Carrie and Suisan have proved it is a perfect first line because only the best can be twisted and worshipped like this.

    And once the rest of the book is done, amie can use Bonnie's words as a pull-quote.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Amie Stuart1:03 PM

    Bonnie I'm totally using you as a quote.

    *bows and blushes*

    thanks ya'll. I have to admit, it's probably the best I've ever come up with.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amie Stuart1:04 PM

    Oh.......and the next line?
    To his ex-girlfriend, he was "You impotent bastard."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1:24 PM

    Dear Amie,

    Want to be friends?

    Love, your new BFF,
    Tracy MacNish

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1:26 PM

    Kate, darling, I have my own vomitous dog, thanks. Bring your kids when they're sick. That oughta do it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Amie Stuart3:58 PM

    Tracy I'll keep your barstood warm!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bobbie (Sunny) Cole5:18 PM

    you could always apply the Buddha or somebody else's 'god' without it being plagiarism, right? *ducking*

    killer 1st line...

    ReplyDelete

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