I stink at first lines and at back copy, so of course I always look for good ones so I can feel...what's the opposite of schadenfreude? Schadenangst? Schadensorge? Envy?

Over at her myspace journal Amie Stuart's posted the first line of her WIP:

To his friends and family, he was Will; to everyone else, he was God, as in "Please God, don't kill me."

I read it and wonder, hey, is plagiarism so bad? Will anyone notice if I steal it? I'd change it a bit.

Comments

  1. Tracy MacNish9:23 AM

    Thanks, Kate!

    I was having a bad day, feeling like a loser, and NOW I have First Line Envy.

    Wanna maybe come over my house, kick me in the shins and make fun of my clothes?

    Cheers,
    Tracy MacNish

    ReplyDelete
  2. To his lovers and co-workers, he was Dave; to everyone else, he was Dude, as in "Hey Dude, you wanna go bowling?"

    Now you just need to write a WIP based on a laid back bowler rather than a cool assassin, and you should be fine. OK. I guess not.

    That was really in bad taste. I feel bad now. (Kidding, Amie Stuart! Just making a joke!)

    I LOVE the original as a first line though. Really. Need to go wash the envy away with a strong cup of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The envy made me gag a bit.

    Suisan's right tho, in that it makes for a pretty nifty formula. "To his frat brothers and drinking buddies, he was Jimmy; to everyone else, he was Dickweed, as in "Hey Dickweed, get your hand off my ass."

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG, I admire someone who can so concisely give facts, bring on the humor and pique interest all in one sentence! That is a phenomenal first line.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tracy, only if I bring my dog to throw up on your carpets, too, k? And now Carrie and Suisan have proved it is a perfect first line because only the best can be twisted and worshipped like this.

    And once the rest of the book is done, amie can use Bonnie's words as a pull-quote.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bonnie I'm totally using you as a quote.

    *bows and blushes*

    thanks ya'll. I have to admit, it's probably the best I've ever come up with.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh.......and the next line?
    To his ex-girlfriend, he was "You impotent bastard."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tracy MacNish1:24 PM

    Dear Amie,

    Want to be friends?

    Love, your new BFF,
    Tracy MacNish

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tracy MacNish1:26 PM

    Kate, darling, I have my own vomitous dog, thanks. Bring your kids when they're sick. That oughta do it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tracy I'll keep your barstood warm!

    ReplyDelete
  11. you could always apply the Buddha or somebody else's 'god' without it being plagiarism, right? *ducking*

    killer 1st line...

    ReplyDelete

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