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Showing posts from December, 2009

Things To Do

I have all sorts of small things I'm supposed to do....nibbled to death by ducks is this decade's overused phrase that I sometimes wish I'd invented. (Other such phrases show up regularly at sites like Smart Bitches and usually involve a lot of Zs)

But having too much to do and avoiding it all is why I'm here. On the list is paying a bunch of bills, returning emails, thanking that fan who listed my mistakes in a book that's been OOP for 4 years. (hey, I'm keeping her list. who knows when someone might buy that book again?)

Now that I'm getting to the bottom of the TTD list, I can see most of what's left pertains to promo and promo type things. Like the crappy car. Yes, we're getting the car. But the thing is, who is getting the car? That's what the people want to know. The car will eventually end up on the UConn campus. The oldest boy wants this crappy car, a lot, and will even pay for his own gas. Knowing the boy as I do, the inside of that car …

We go to Avatar along with everyone else in Hartford

a very crowded theater. And what's with the huge slug of upcoming 3D movies? Yeesh.
After the movie. Not exactly with spoilers, but still, nearly:

Boy1: They were right. It was just like Ferngully and Dances with Wolves.
Boy 2 and 3: And Rambo.
Boy1: Rambo? It was nothing like Rambo. What a stupid thing to say. Nothing like it. I bet you haven't even seen Rambo.
Me: What I didn't like--
Boy2: Was too. Just like Rambo, stupid head
Boy3: And Star Wars. It had that Star Wars thing.
Me: What I didn't like--
Boy1: Star Wars? What? No way. And you're stupid. Rambo? No. Way. Smurfs though.
Boy3: Smurfs???
Boy1: They were blue.
Boy 2 and 3: Yeah. Definitely. Smurfs.
Boy1: But no way Rambo or Star Wars.
Boy 2: There's the hero epic journey thing.
Me: What I didn't like--
Boy 1: And I don't see how you can say it was like Rambo. He was acting on his own.
Me: But that's just it. That's what I didn't like--
Boy 2: Rambo! You're stupid!
Boy 1: (in a patronizing voice…

under the influence of mucus

How old does a kid have to be before he stops leaving a trail of used kleenex? At least the kid wouldn't get lost in the forest--gross, but better than Hansel's bread crumbs. . except

and this is TMI

Seriously, seriously TMI

dog adores the used tissues. Not as bad as dogs' enthusiasm for used cat boxes, I know, but still.

I'm supposed to go wrap presents, so I will, but you can't make me enjoy this season. At least I don't feel guilty about not enjoying it any more. That's a relief. I think less effort and worry about the lack of Joy makes the atmosphere that much less falsely jolly ---- so that if some real jollity should slip in, we're pleasantly surprised.

But not this year, I imagine. I finally managed to shake the cough and got the boy's cold.

You know that part of A Christmas Carol? (And you know you do because you have the damn thing memorized--perhaps against your will but still, you do. I'm sorry.) Anyway. That part when Scrooge looks at th…

if you visit us

if you see this sign I just put up in the bathroom? It's not directed at you unless you also miss the toilet when you pee. I'm done with that one, entirely.

If you live with teenaged males and have found a way to solve these issues without death or destruction, let me know.
These rules are to be followed or you will be required to shower/bathe/brush teeth at the gym at least there someone is paid to clean up after you1.Dry off most of your body INSIDE THE TUB. Have the towel within reach when you shower. Dry off, mostly, THEN STEP OUT. The mat is there to mostly keep your feet from freezing, not act as a towel. If the mat does end up wet, hang it on the tub so it’ll dry out
2.When finished with your towel don’t just hang it up, spread it out on its own bar.3.When you brush your teeth and spit, you will notice --HOLY CRAP!--there is gunk in the sink from your spitting.Every single time you spit. There will be stuff in the sink. EVERY SINGLE TIME. . FROM NOW ON , YOU WILL TAKE A…

stuff

1. omigod snow! end of civilization! Oh! Oh! No!

Before the snow everyone has to go out and drive around slowly. You'd think this was DC from the way the stores jammed up and from all the excited chatter in the check out lines. Snow! OMIFUCKINGGOD!

2. Gene Weingarten is one of the nicest people on the planet. He's written a few columns all about what a curmudgeon he is but I'm no longer buying that act.

2a. What about the car, you ask? The pro and con lists are driving everyone in the house nuts. We're making the lists and checking them twice and then starting again. Luckily we're all doing it so the problem is not just me.

3. I dreamed I accidentally wrote something snide in a promo/press release and was suddenly reviled by everyone with access to a computer. I was getting more guff than Candace Sams. What a stupid, stupid dream. Online equivalent of being nekkid in public, I guess.

And I'd provide a link as reference to the Candace Sams debacle, but I'm to…

hey.

I posted my latest cover (book out in February) at erotic muses. I like it.

Of course after Butt Genie, I'm not interested in covers that are just pretty. I want covers that will rock the foundation of civilization and get me publicity.


woof

Colder weather means the dog can join me on errands again. Going for car-rides = highlight of her pathetic life.

But what is with the overprotective world these days? Or maybe I mean kinda dumb world.

**

Today's well-meaning person: You shouldn't leave your dog in the car.
Me: Yeah, I don't in the summer, but it's not hot any more. She won't suffocate.
TWMP: Someone might steal her.

...I don't point out that this is an 80 lb rottweiler shepherd mix, not a toddler.

**

Another person at trader joes: You shouldn't leave your dog in the car. He barked at me.
Me: I'm sorry. She's usually pretty good about not barking at people walking past. (I get the person's point--bugs me when a dog startles the hell out of me with random barking when I'm just walking past)
APATJ: I was just trying to say hello.
Me: Did you put your hand in the window? (I leave it open a half inch sometimes)
APATJ: I knocked on the glass.

**

Person at Best Buy: You shouldn't leave …

on the other hand...

it's a good thing that we have the internet to pry into the minds of the people we meet. I was just writing a scene in someone's house .... and realized the nosy character wasn't going to get squat from her snooping.

She's looking around for CDs and books and whoops, no way. Those are all on the Blackberry or the Kindle.


wow, what a bitch

Turns out when I give anonymous star reviews, I'm a real asshat.

Our library has a five star system for its online audio books. For each online book, there are two lines of stars: "average rating"and "my rating" and I've been using it for my own purposes. I'm not clicking to promote anyone's work, or tell the world my opinion, but to keep track which books I've listened to and whether or not I liked the damn thing. Memory failing, don't you know.

I've listened to a gazillion books and given out only a few five star ratings. Most of the time I'm clicking two, three stars---with a fair number of one stars.

It's a huge difference from my usual instincts for star rating--kind of a reverse, actually. (I give lots of fives in the real world but that's in part because I don't go rating the one star books. Me 'n Harriet Klausner.) I think it's because the author is unlikely to come across my rating at our public library. A…

Promo

The promo budget for 2010 is now the crappy car. I won't participate in any online ads or group Romantic Times and I'm no longer featured over at Noveltalk or Fresh Fiction. Hmm. That almost covers the car cost. Hey, if I was going for a single full-color ad in RT, I could have gotten TWO crappy cars. **

I wasn't planning to lay out the bucks for anything huge because so far I have three books scheduled for release in 2010 and two of them are m/m with Bonnie Dee. Nothing big, nothing NY so no advances.

The $30 here and there for those online banners are out. I have to use this purchase as my promotion. How can I connect the historical romance or the hot sexxx with the 1991 mazda 323?

I asked some writer pals for ideas. Here's what I got:

1. Paint your name and website url on the car. Looks like it needs a paint job anyway. (more than one person)

2. Sandy Blair's suggestion: “Win a fab car once owned by noted columnist Gene Weingarten and now by award-winning author K…
Oh. My. God.
The car is ours.


The good news the "revolver" listed is a bike rack and not an actual gun....for my husband's sake.

He's looking up blue book value. $350 trade in. WOOT! But once the oldest son and his friends get finished painting it, this vehicle will be worth a great deal more.

UPDATE: And the more I read about the Weeks family, their boys and the charity, the better I feel about this business.

I was feeling slightly miffed at this whole thing--there are only so many times I can be called a doot brain*** before I start to sulk--when I read about the Weeks's loss. Whining seems beside the point. Especially with that that additional why-are-you-discontent----you-still-have-your-boys factor. (Linton and Jan Weeks strike me as too generous to want any other parent of boys to feel slightly guilty. That sort of response just comes along naturally).

_______

*** I'd say the doot-brain name-calling is pretty evenly divided between Mike and me.

Shitshitshit Save me from myself

me: hey, mike, look at this listing. Gene Weingarten's selling a car for charity.
mike: Pretty sweet wheels. We definitely should bid.
me: ha! ha! ha!

two hours later....

me: okay, I bid
mike: wt? f?
me: It's fine. I mean Gene Weingarten is famous! A famous funny guy!** Surely someone will outbid this paltry sum of mine.
mike: How much did you bid on that piece of crap? Do you recall we have a kid in college?
me: He's at a state school. It's fine!
mike: Didn't you tell me that your writing income is going down rather than up?
me: Oh, it's fine. It really is a good cause. And this conversation is moot because any second now someone else will outbid me.

six days later....

Oh, shit.

the auction's going to end in an hour and fifteen minutes.

No one has outbid me and I'm freaking doomed.

Here's what I tell myself: On the plus side, there's a clock and a cool teeshirt thrown in--a teeshirt I'd never get in the usual manner because I'm not funny enough to en…

more random

why why why did the library get this book? and why why why did I start listening to it? why can't I stop? the most simplistic of the spenser testosterone myth stuff dumbed down to for kids. how is it that people can give romance the middle finger when there's this kind of stuff to moan about? fight fight pose pose hero hero etc Here's what I think: This is the xy equivalent of the xx of trashy romance. there, I admit it: there is such a thing as trashy romance...and I'm reading it all. xx xy allllwwwlllwlw.

uuuhhhhhhhhhhh Kate's moan of anguish. all that PLUS about ten mentions of susan's harvard phd education. **

the good news: it's short. why can't I stop? why? The description of the river is cool. the title is nice and fits...but. why? why? why? do I do it?


Speaking of romance, all the carrying on about White Collar's main lead is fun to see--swooning on twitter-- but what I like are the Relationships. The FBI guy and his wife is one of the best ma…