kate rothwell

If you're in an internet skirmish, the moment you bring up your opponents' sex life, weight, appearance, or popularity (number of followers)* you've lost the argument and are banned from the internet for at least 24 hours--an internet time out. If you do this continually--especially if you occupy any position of power--you will be forced to return to middle school as a small fat gay male with no fashion sense**.  You will relive those three years over and over until you get The Point. If you still haven't figured it out and/or you're tired of the middle school cafeteria food, you can choose to be a Muslim in the deep south.  If you back away from an argument first, you are granted extra internet bonus points. You may use these to get out of internet time outs early. If you make up dumb internet rules of behavior, you will be ignored or called names. If you ignore the names and don't sigh about being ignored, you get extra internet bonus points. For eve...

but apparently other people don't. I was afraid of that.* You have to wonder how people who get huge numbers of stinky reviews for their first book ever manage to keep going. I’m fairly demoralized with two bad reviews and I can’t imagine how it would feel if this was my only book. We authors tell each other not to check Amazon or Goodreads, and that's good advice -- just because it’s too much work to get back to normal operating speed after being slapped in the face with a bad review. Yes, yes, such an overdramatic response, but any author can tell you--that's how it feels. Really. It's the feeling, the internal authorial response, that contains the greatest quantity of suckage. The fact of a bad review is out in the world hardly matters. Much. Anyone is allowed to leave bad reviews, for Pete’s sake. I resent my own inability to ignore it. I hate how it entirely unfloats my boat. I get swamped and there are no life vests onboard. (“May day! May day!”) Authors wi...

I bought a book from amazon, opened my Kindle and almost at once was filled with disappointment and switched to another book**. I just don't have the taste for one of Those Books. I mean, it's fine with me if other people want to read that sort of thing. Live and let live. But I find the long descriptions of that activity distasteful. I'd rather that happened behind closed doors and long descriptions make me uncomfortable because I feel as if I'm intruding on something I think should be kept private. Sure it's precious to you, but I don't want to read about it. I'm talking God, specifically the characters' relationship with the deity. So anyway. If you read this, you know I've already ranted about how I don't like to read books with lots of God and how I think Religious activity is to inspies as Sex is to the erotic romance. The only reason I'm bringing this up again is because times are changing. Used to be you could tell from the titl...

So when I get to a pirated ebook site, I'm always offended. Why? Because if they have Summer Devon books, they're stealing from me. And when they don't have 'em, hey! Shit! Aren't I good enough to rip off? I wonder how much money is lost with that kind of piracy. It didn't really offend me much at first but the more I think about it, the more high-horsey I get. That sort of idiocy might wreck the industry that they enjoy--or at least force publishers to boost the prices or come up with some odious technology that makes books dissolve eventually. Reminds me of hikers who throw just a tiny gum wrapper down justifying it with, "The tiny bit I do won't make a difference." Careless and selfish with no thought of the other people who're part of their world.** It seems pretty strange that someone who really admires a writer's work goes out of their way to make sure that that particular writer can't make a living. Stupid. rant over due to ano...

The chat was okay, even though it wasn't nearly as busy as the ones we used to hold. Turns out that mine was one of the very last noveltalk chats. I spent much of the time squeeing at Diane Farr and Megan Frampton instead of pushing my own book. I forget to have stuff ready to post at those things. Too late now. I don't think there will be many more live chats anywhere. Too intensive and long in a fast-paced internet. I was thinking, as I didn't do my job over there, how it's just about time for the fluff to emerge again. Bad times means light-hearted material will thrive. No more spies (unless they're bumbling) no more murders or thrillers, it's time for a modern PG Wodehouse to help us feel as if it isn't all doom and gloom and must Mean Something Deep to be real. I think it's time for editors to buy NEW Fluffy STUFF. No more recycling old Metzger and Farr books. Get Metzger back to writing shorter Regencies, please. Haul back Nonnie St. George, eve...

I have a historical I hated and I can't figure out why I held on to the bitter end. It's not about the sex like it would have been back when hawt sex in books was still hard to find and fun to read. It wasn't the plot which was as standard as the list of ingredients on the cereal box. I wish I knew why I read from chapter one to the end. Regency set, cold hero, TSTL heroine. Big misunderstandings etc. I want you guys to tell me why I held on but then I'd have to put up the name of the book and I can't to do that unless it's someone who's sold a gazillion billion copies and I don't think she has. But really. I could see why I'd force myself to read it if I'd paid good money for it, but it came from the library. Maybe I thought there'd be twists and it wouldn't be so paint-by-number to the very end? That had to be it. Why else would we finish books that don't grab us? WHY? Could it be all about the hooks? (picks up copy) Naw.

heh, first title ended with "... dog scratching its fleasnring. I have no idea why I wrote that. * * * In which I sit myself down and ask myself some stern questions. WHAT'S GOING TO TAKE PLACE IN LESS THAN A MONTH? I'll have a new book out. WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING NOW? The same thing I always seem to do when I'm about to have a new release. Ranting about politics and using foul language in those rants. Thus alienating a good share of my potential readership. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I can't help myself? And yes, okay. I can't do promo worth ......ummm beans. IS THERE ANY UPSIDE TO THIS? It's good to know there are predictable events in life. I MEAN ANY UPSIDE FOR KATE? No, not really. WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. No. There is no upside for Kate or Summer in this. WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE POST BONNIE DEE'S EXCERPTS? Well. I have to write about 2ooo words to keep up with my challenge. And I have a writer's meeting with Terry and Jes ...

I figured out why the Trig on her lap story (in the car at least twice!) annoyed me personally so much I had to write about it at the great orange satan. (Or satin as some people call it) It's just another case of if I manage this basic grown-up task, why can't s/he ? And, hey, unlike Palin, I'm never going to paint myself as an UberMom** or use the boys to advance my political career.... I've been a mother for almost 18 years. And I can think of one time only that I didn't strap a boy in in--when we were driving across a parking lot. One time only. Even when my goddamn back went out and putting the toddler in the far car seat and putting that buckle over his head was agony (whoa, do I remember that) I made sure he was secure. When they screamed and struggled to get out of their seats while we were on the road (and toddlers always go through that stage at some point) I didn't give into their tantrums. It was a simple choice. For the last 19 years, my 3 kid...

have sent an email to the wrong person? You know, typed in a first name, figured that you only had one on the list, hit send and stupid mo-fo-ing outlook filled in the address and sent the email to the wrong damned person? I've done that about five times in the last year and that's how long my email program has decided it knows what I mean when I put in a name without an email addie. Please make me feel better and tell me you've done it too. thank you.

I'm not much of a housekeeper. That's not the habit that's annoying me lately. It's that I tend to apologize when someone walks in the door. Hey, until that person comes in, I don't really notice the scum of dust, the stack of paper. So the apology is automatic. Oh dang, look at this place. I'm sorry! I'm trying not to do that any more. I want to get out of the habit of feeling I owe the world sparkling surfaces and am a bad person for not providing them. So now you're warned: if you come to my house, you probably get a welcome, an offer of coffee (good coffee, too) and the use of a chair that won't make your clothes dirty. The bathrooms are often okay because I hate gross bathrooms. The kitchen is usually clean because I like clean kitchens. Otherwise. Oh, dear. Oops. This whole APOLOGIZING for a lack of action that's not really owed to anyone is silly. Here's another thing I'm not so good at-----promo. Hey, I've done some, but ...

Now Cheetos are on my list. I have a list of products I won't buy because their advertising campaigns are so obnoxious or unpleasant or stupid or....Does one need a reason? Prissy Pants** comes out when I see ads that mock teachers, parents or the little old lady who looks out her window. The neighborhood watch lady who calls the police? I want her watching. I would pay to have her watching. And librarians. God help me, I might actually send a letter if I see another librarian getting the mocketty-mock ad treatment. I spend minutes at a time composing letters to the manufacturers in my head. Do you really think making mom and dad look like assholes is going to get mom and dad to buy your stupid cereal? Don't you know we're sitting next to our kids watching Cap'n SweetCrunchees put one over on the adults? I'm not Lazlo Toth and I don't send the letters, but they're there, deep in my Prissy Pants Soul and you idiots who sell stuff should keep in mind that u...

1. The underlying pathos of a life lived on the edge of madness. The whole horrifying view of the human condition is displayed in this website, featuring Jon all by himself. Garfield the cat, minus G the C. 2. So what do you think of the little signature tags writers put under their names? It's all the rage. I expect there must be many workshops held on how to write damn things. Remember the big deal a couple o' years ago? Suddenly we all had to learn how to write high concept taglines for manuscripts? Now you have to do it for your whole self. Everything you write. Silly summing up if you ask me, which you didn't. I like the six lines defining us but that's fun. This is just advertising and that's always eye-rolling. Except the first one I remember seeing was "Get in bed with [author's name here], everyone else does." I really like that one. It's funny and catchy and if I had half a brain, I'd remember who she was. updated to add : of cour...

You know that old wheeze about how you can tell the true nature of a person by how they treat The Help? So okay what about this one: You can tell how humane editors and agents are by how they treat the uninteresting people who submit to them.** No one should expect personalized rejections. These people are busy and don't have a lot of time to send along reasons why they don't want our stuff. I'm happy when they do, don't get me wrong. But these days? I'm grateful for a simple goddamn rejection. There are a whole bunch who Don't Even Bother. They can't bring themselves to do these simple steps: 1, hit return. 2. type "sorry not for me" 3, hit send. Yes, yes, YES, I know they don't ask for the damned queries. (although it could be argued that the words "will read unsolicited queries" is sort of asking for 'em.) The professionals aren't responsible for the thousands of people they aren't going to work with who contact them. ...

I finished my 8 RITA books at long last. All 8 were put out by big name publishers. I'm not going to talk about the books because that wouldn't be kosher. But let me just say that to rinse out the flavor between some of those stale, predictable stories and their stale, flat characters, I picked up my computer to read me some Carrie Lofty, Sam Winston, Bonnie Dee and Bettie Sharpe. If I had more print books to go through, I'd probably line up AM Riley, Shiloh Walker....just in case. Okay maybe I should actually draw up a list of my faves some day but that's not the point. Back on track: Get it yet? To make myself read what promised to be a bland print book, I'd promise myself an ebook at the other side. The point at last: I am turning into an ebook snob. Never mind the fact that only a few of those print books were dreary and the others were just fine. The truth is only one was great as the ebooks I read over the same period and none took risks or stuck in my brain...

Forget envy. For the week ahead, the featured sin will be wroth, which is a wonderful word. Wrath is pretty, wroth is just elegant and a good old word, too. Love the writhing factor. From Merriam-Webster Etymology: Middle English, from Old English wrāth; akin to Old High German reid twisted, Old English wrīthan to writhe Date: before 12th century: intensely angry : highly incensed : wrathful WROTH entry number one: Do you know what I bloody HATE ? Writing contests, as in contests for writers. I already mentioned the fact that I entered the Suzannah (opened to pubs!) and got rotten scores, including 45 out of 115. That means that the judge gave me many, many, many ones. She only gave me two fives and both of those were for having a neat manuscript. The rest? Mostly ones (on a scale of 1-5) with a few 2s. Low scores don't set off the wrath. Yo, I think no one gave me over 78 for either of the two manuscripts I entered--no, I really don't know what I was thinking, either--and the ...

1. What is it with you authors? I give you a perfectly easy way to publicize your books and you don't send me your lists. Who's organizing your lives? Hire a publicist! And if she's any good, send me her address. 2. Who's idea was it to have ice fall out of the sky? it makes no sense, people. Rain, sure. Snow if you must. But what's with the tippity tappity of ice? Unnatural. 3. Why is it as soon as I decide I have a great system in place (one hour of writing, ten minutes activity) I undermine my system and blog hop? 4. Hey, kid, how many times do you have to play Hier Kommt Alex ? Don't you think that's enough? And what kind of name is Die Toten Hosen (the Dead Trousers)? 5. Who left the chocolate cake where I could find it? 6. Who left the remote on the couch so that when the kid sat on it, the batteries ran down? 7. Even with "Heir Kommt Alex" blaring on Guitar Hero 3, why do I have a Christmas carol blaring in my head. Granted at least it...

On Thanksgiving day I had to go buy last minute cheese. There I was standing in line at the Overpriced Fancy Grocery store, when a woman walked into the store. As she passed the flowers and the checkout line at least three other women in the line (they knew each other.) began to vent. Omilordyinheaven, you'd have thought the newcomer had come in the store naked. Or maybe holding a bloodstained knife. No one over the age of ten should wear them was the nicest thing the group had to say. ** The woman walking past wore Crocs. This isn't the first instance of Croc-hatred I've witnessed. I don't have a pair, but here's what I know about them. They're shoes. That's it, just shoes. But for people who care, they are a crime that should carry a large penalty. And those who insist on wearing them shall be cast out of society and scorned. Maybe be forced to sport a big lime green C on their chests? I save my vitriol for important things, like the shoes at the bottom ...

warning, a political thingy. Also, it will make your jaw drop. I'm serious. The poem that showed up in Pakistani school books spells it out . Officials claim it was just an amazing coincidence. Here's the start. See if you can figure out allllll the first letters of the poem's first lines. If you can't guess the secret behind the rest of the excrescence, and you want to, go ahead--read the whole poem at the BBC link above. Be prepared to feel ill, laugh yer ass off (or perhaps applaud?) I guess it's a success as a work of art because it's guaranteed to have an effect on most peeps. THE LEADER by anonymous P atient and steady with all he must bear, R eady to meet every challenge with care, E asy in manner, yet solid as steel, S trong in his faith, refreshingly real. I sn't afraid to propose what is bold, D oesn't conform to the usual mould, E yes that have foresight, for hindsight won't do, N ever backs down when he sees what is true, T ells it...

Dear Publisher, If you're going to publish historicals, for God's sake hire someone who knows the time period to look at the manuscripts. Seriously. I'm not a member of the Historical Know It Like the Back of My Hand** Force but I've been reading your books and finding mistakes that even someone who's read a couple of non-fiction history books years ago can pick up. No, I'm not asking this for me. Potatoes in the wrong era never turns a book into a wall banger for me. But you must know Those People Are Out there and They Care Deeply, especially about those Regency set books. Take the time to appease them, for there are many members of this Force and they will buy books from the good publishers and trash the inaccurate ones all over loops. Look at it from their point of view. If that world is real to them, then when the mistakes are jarring, they'll be pulled out of the place and they'll resent paying for something they consider shoddy. A person who cares...

and even Baroness pales when compared to my new title**--the one I'm stealing from Beth: Foul-Mooded Generic Citizen _______ **or maybe she pales when she realizes she's lost her knickers and has been impaled.