Here's why I suck at chats

1. I type too slowly.

2. I snark and don't put the appropriate smilie by it because I forget they are there.

3. There's no way I can promote my old books well because by the time they're published I've moved on. Off-loaded the characters** and picked up new ones. There are always questions about "which of your heroes would you want to be stranded on a desert island with" and I have no idea.

4. I'd much rather discuss bizarro tangential things--although coochiefruit is breaking the sound-barrier. I'm not forgetting that, Beth. You are so, so very doomed. Write that litfic. Win the Booker prize, I dare you. I don't care how much it'll cost me -- the person handing you the prize will whisper coochiefruit. Or whichever phrase du jour that has the greatest chance of turning you into a quivering whimpering pile of blancmange. On stage, on camera. In front of the queen, God Bless Her -- although if you don't hurry up and write, it'll be in front of the king.


**The only character I haven't dumped is Araminta. Because so many people have given me grief about her, I've thought about her . . . and can't see how she could have been any different. I mean, sheesh, the woman had a role model of a milky simpering weak but loving mother. Of course she's not going to be straight-forward ball-breaking bitch. Poor thing has no idea where she fits in the world so even though she had mountains of love as a kid, she's not going to be as confident as a dutchess. On the other hand, she has survived and so can't be a typical middle-class Victorian spinster. oh, blah blah blah.


  1. I soooo suck at chats - but I meant to support you at yours. I will probably forget my own coming up. WISH I had been there for you, though.

  2. Well, seeing as how the only prize I'm likely to win will be the result of a local school raffle, I'm not exactly quaking in my boots. However, i will endeavour to work the term "coochiefruit" into my next piece of fiction. For you. Because I am such a giver.

  3. Okay, here's the thing - I'm of the opinion that chats with people like us (I'm also the snarky chick who doesn't use smilies although I do tend to get distracted by the odd sound effects in chat rooms and play with them) are a lot more fun than chats that are all in your face promo.

    I do like to talk about my old books. And I do like to be asked desert island questions - but this is because I am a character slut and I have massive crushes on my heroes.

    But inevitably if I chat with certain people *coughanyabastcough* some odd sexual something will come up and the chat goes off the rails. And that's okay, cause it's fun.

  4. Shoot, I really wanted to attend the chat, but the husband came home before 11:00pm, which was a nice change, so I hung out with him.

  5. I went to the chat! And you just LEFT. I mean, how am I supposed to support you when you just up and run like that?

    ... okay, so I arrived 5 minutes after the chat ended. Haven't you ever heard of 'fashionably late'???

  6. "Coochiefruit," as in "Coochiefruit jungle"?

  7. Anonymous5:33 AM

    Best regards from NY!


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