note to an author responding to a rotten review

If you can't be like Kim take these steps instead:

1. Write your response. Delete it. No, it doesn't matter that you think your response is funny. It will contain at least a seed of bitterness that makes you look like a goober.

2. Focus on one of Monica Jackson's Author Calming Visualizations. Hmmm. Can't see it at that link but there should be references to it all over the place. I chose to go outside my species for my visualizations. Here's my favorite: I call it "Messageboard/Blog Regulars Go Wild and Stampede Because of One Teeny-Tiny Stupid Remark by a Newbie Author."

3. Remember one of the basic author's truths as revealed by PBW: The words "Your constructive comments are truly appreciated" translate to Oh, blow me.


  1. Kate, you post is right on.

    And since this is such a HUMONGOUS public service I made sure that eight of my author calming visualization aids were up at the site. Feel free to label them for your own usage.

    SB Candy loved the one I made for her!

  2. Hey Kate Rothwell, check this out, homey!

    My goodness! Why shouldn't authors respond to snark about their work and/or their covers? Oh, I know the answer. Unfortunately, most authors who defend or explain or react to the clever, funny, and insightful comments of bloggers risk offending readers. Quelle horreur! The best thing for an author to do, if she can't react to snark with humor and grace, is to keep quiet. It's a lovely double standard for bloggers. They can say whatever they want and if taken to task for their ignoble posts, they simply accuse those offended of lacking a sense of humor.

  3. heh. HUMONGOUS is the word, Monica. But truly those pictures provide a real public service if they help a single author save the shreds of her reputation. (Don't hit that reply button. Look at this and dream instead.)

    Bam! You're starting yet another blog, you snarkalubrious anonymous woman? < /hilarious joke >

  4. You caught me, Kate. You're just too wily for me. :P

  5. repeat after me:
    reviews are just personal opinions
    reviews are just personal opinions
    reviews are just...

    You get the drift?

  6. I'll always treasure the author visualization aids Monica made for me.

    *runs off to cram more doughnuts down my gullet*

  7. dude, I thought she made it because of you, not for you.

    hey where did that photoshopped Candy go?

  8. Kate:

    Danke sehr for stopping by my place. Es freut mich sehr.

  9. Because, wacky English-speakers and your tricky conjunctions. Pfah.

  10. bwahahahahaha, so I take it when you said you appreciated my crit that's what you were really thinking???? Hahahaha
    Love ya!

  11. YOW.
    [That eye-roll aimed at Ari really HURT.]


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