I can't heeeeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrrr youuuuuuu

I have my fingers in my ears and I refuse REFUSE, do you understand??? to get depressed about this biddy getting a contract to write erotic romance.Thanks, I don't think, Ms. SBTB bitches.

"They offered a huge deal and I like the idea of seeing my book on a shelf. The plot's top secret so far but let's just say I have a wild imagination."

I am so NOT LISTENING . . .


  1. You preach, me choir. I get rejected out the wazoo and -- oh never fucking mind. Just never let it be said that my bitterness is without foundation.

  2. She only got that contract, cause she's in Desperate Housewives (what's the appeal of that show anyway? I just don't get it). And she's probably not even going to write the book herself.

    Though I am annoyed that all those useless celebrity-penned books take publishing slots away from authors who actually write their own stuff and have more merit than just a famous name.

  3. The plot isn't that top secret. I overheard her talking to her four-year-old daughter.

    "So there's this girl -- okay? -- and, like, she looks just like me, and, and, and she has sex with all these kayoooot guys who are like BUILT, you know? in all the strangest places, like, like (omigod!) on the butcher block in her kitchen, or in the bathtub (*giggle*), and in the end she meets this great guy with a great job who is like TOTALLY HUNG and they make out for forty pages and live happily ever after, okay?"

  4. LOLOL!!!!!
    Let's see - I'm with Doug here, but I'll just add that she's going to write about a married lady who meets this hunky Gardener type (much younger man) And...Oh, did I mention I watched Desperate Housewives once or twice? LOL!

    I got hives reading Madonna's book, so I can't imagine what this one will do to me. Not that I'd stoop to buying it...lol

  5. I don't even need to tell you how so effing wrong that is!


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