walk to school

9 yr old: I have a new system. I'm reformatting my days. [note: 9 yr old is a geek wannabe. he uses lots of terms that sound technical and inserts strange numbers whenever he can. He is particularly fond of statistics, many of which he makes up...okay maybe he has a career as a politician?]

me: yeah?

9 yr old: Yes, the actual school time minus the non-school events. Take art -- I like art.

me: Who wouldn't? Ms. Reid rocks. I wish I could ta--

9: So that's 45 minutes. And then there's lunch and recess and library. Those are part of the formula.

me: Wow, look at those tulips.

9: [who has never allowed any interruption, ever. He really can't --he's the third child and just as chatty as the other two.] I'm thinking of retooling the other numbers as well. I mean adding onto those numbers, but only about hmmm five point five minutes per period.

me: [barely listening. I mean jeez, it's a matter of self-preservation. All three of them can and will talk for hours, usually about esoteric topics like Magic cards.] Uh huh. Dang, look at that. I think Annie grew four inches overnight.

9: That means....hmmm. Add the four. Carry the three. Hmmmm. I guess that means I should see you about 1:30

me: Huh? What? Today's a short day? Why?

9: No, that's the day reformatted. I've got fewer school hours under this system. Haven't you been listening?

me: See you at 3:20, kiddo. Give me a kiss or I'll call you my sweet widdle fluffernutterpeanut butter pie again. In front of your friends.

9: Noooo! Anything but that! Come on, no kiss. Hug yes. No kiss.

me: Kiss too or I'll talk about baby bunnies.

9: Fine, but make it fast.


  1. Aw!!! Kids are so cute! Don't you just love not listening to them?
    Mine is angling to get a horse. She has it all planned out. When she starts talking about 'the plan' I usually find something urgent to do in the kitchen.

  2. Ooo! I am waiting until mine's old enough to torture like that with the kisses and stuff.


    This doesn't put me in the "bad parent" category, does it?

  3. Kate, you and your kids are just too goddamn adorable.

    If you ever make your way to Portland, or if I ever make my way to...uh, the town where you're at (why can't I remember? Oh man I suck), you can talk to me about baby bunnies ANY time.


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