so? This one is easy, dudes

1. Judge Kate Speaks. . . It's all clear to me. You send someone a book when they haven't asked for it, they can do whatever they hell they want with it.

I still have to accept the fact that even after they bought the thing and you wrote "to my best friend in the whole world xxoo" they can do whatever they want with it. They bought it. It's theirs. They can rip it up and feed it to the hogs and then describe the event in their blog.

The rioter in question must smile and nod and not whine except to her 120 closest personal writing friends in a loop. The 120 friends must castigate the reader and call her horrid names. No mention of this must ever be made in public. (please see incomplete authors' behavior guide here)

This reader will not go to hell. If she makes a habit of buying books and loathing them, her misery is its own reward.

Back to the ARCs for sale on the internet.

IF she is a reviewer you sent an ARC because she was on one of your long-ass lists AND she sells your ARC AND you catch it, AND that bothers you . . . don't send her another one. That's all you can do. You might warn the 120 closest writing friends but no one else.

And the 120 aren't required to get outraged on your behalf -- it's not a creative stab in the heart. Unless the reviewer rips your book and feeds it to the pigs to boot, you're probably not going to get the little (((((you)))) huggie things.

IF she is a reviewer AND she emails you begging for a free copy of the book AND THEN (after you craftily put a little number in a corner so you can identify it) you see that copy for can request that that reviewer be cast into the Opportunist Circle of Hell -- the one where all the pyramid schemers go.

You certainly shouldn't send her any more copies.

Writing assignment: describe this circle of hell.

I had one reviewer beg me more in multiple emails for a copy of a book -- and then she gave me a crappy review. I won't send her any more books, but I don't think she deserves to get cast into that circle. I got my closest personal writing friends' (((((Kate))))) [evil names piled on reviewer] and got over it. However, if I ever catch her selling that ARC on the internet . . .


  1. I thought your last book (that you sent me) was genius. So what do they know. Your real public love ya.

  2. if you ever write a "fake ho" book, I would like a copy.

    You have my word that I won't sell it on Ebay.

    Unless you say, "If it sucks, you can sell it on Ebay."

  3. You want bolgias?

    How about one where the demons give the damned innumerable paper-cuts using said book? Once the damned has been thoroughly stripped of skin, the demons beat her to death with the same book.


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