my new year's resolutions

Only one:
Don't make any New Year's Resolutions.

I always break them**. See? I've already done it again this year, and even faster than usual.

At least last year I waited a hour before breaking into the bag of chocolate chips after making the one about "Cut Back On The Chocolate."

Tomorrow, I'll announce the winner of the $*&$## contest. You still have time to enter, ya scaredy cats. That's the reason, isn't it--fear. Not because no one visits my blog. Nuh uh. I know you're out there.

You're not entering because you haven't broken free of your fear of rejection.

Well, listen -- start small! LET ME GUIDE YOU ONTO THE ROAD TO SUCCESS!!
Enter my contest by 4 pm tomorrow and, with that small step in presenting your writing to the world, you'll gain the confidence to collect your rejection letters from editors and agents.

And once you finally do get that best-seller published, you can send me a copy inscribed "for Kate. I would never have made it without your contest. Thank you for giving me my first rejection." I'll probably read your book. But then I think I'll sell that first edition autographed copy of your book on ebay and make at least ten dollars -- plus I think I'll gouge the buyer for extra shipping costs.

________

** My theory. It's always the mother's fault right? Okay here: I had permissive parents. I need to rebel against someone, so I sneak around and try to undermine my superego. As soon as I make rules for myself, I break them. This Parental Blame Theory can work either way. . . If my parents had been strict, then breaking resolutions would be a way to take control of my life--wrestling my life from the stern overseers. Oooo I love psychology.

Comments

  1. Happy New Year.

    Btw, those cutting back on chocolate resolutions never work. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Kate, Happy New Year!!

    My NY resolution is to lose the poundage gained in December!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My son insists that cat is unhappy and wants desperately to get away, but the baby has him pinned, WWF-style.

    ReplyDelete

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