memo to self

when you feel rotten, do not read or post on political sites.


  1. To cheer you up:

    "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

    Pat Buchanan: to steal a job from a decent, hardworking

    Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the
    black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to
    trample him and keep him down.

    The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
    unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
    chicken crossed the road, and
    there was much rejoicing.

    Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"

    L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the
    chicken and we'll find out.

    Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
    the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any
    chickens. I have never known any

    Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
    with a toad? Yes!, the chicken crossed the road. But why it
    crossed, I've not been told!

    Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

    Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all
    chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
    motives called into question.

    Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
    the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
    and that was good enough for us.

    Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.

    Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
    we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on

    Ronald Reagan: What chicken?

    Bill Clinton (again): I did not cross the road with THAT
    chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken
    a job in New York.

    Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has
    gone before.

    Fox Mulder: You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many
    more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the
    road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
    whatever motive there was.

    Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
    chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual

    Bill Gates: I have just released "Chicken Coop 98", which
    will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
    important documents, and balance your checkbook and Explorer
    is an inextricable part of the operating system.

    Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
    road move beneath the chicken?

    Bill Clinton (also, again): Define "cross."

  2. That's so true.

    Feel better.

  3. To counter some of the red tint . . .

    George W. Bush: It's a chicken, see? And that's a road. It's fer crossin'.

    Dick Cheney: Go fuck yourself.

    Donald Rumsfeld: It only took one chicken to cross that road. I told you so.

    Karl Rove: I have pictures proving that chicken laid a number of brown eggs.


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