memo to self
when you feel rotten, do not read or post on political sites.
No snark. Bad puppy. No. (Review stuff.)
A two star Amazon review on His American Detective: "Bodice ripper about gay men by a woman." and I'm longing to comment "don't you mean a waistcoat ripper?" God, no. Stop me. The reviews rarely rattle me any longer -- except when I spot a truth in a bad one. When that happens, I actually lose sleep. This means I still care about writing. Speaking of reviewers and writers: A couple of days ago, a writer said she was tired of getting white ladies writing reviews of her books. She had an excellent point in the long run: her stories are meant for a particular audience and she wants them to resonate with those people and get more reviews from them. But that first line was just....horribly obnoxious. I say this from my POV of course. Not a white lady who writes reviews -- but as a review grubber. Anyone who disses any reader (especially ones that give honest reviews) deserves to be cast into the pit of being ignored. ...
To cheer you up:
ReplyDelete"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Pat Buchanan: to steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the
black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to
trample him and keep him down.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"
L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the
chicken and we'll find out.
Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any
chickens. I have never known any
chickens.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes!, the chicken crossed the road. But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on
it.
Ronald Reagan: What chicken?
Bill Clinton (again): I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken
a job in New York.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has
gone before.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released "Chicken Coop 98", which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook and Explorer
is an inextricable part of the operating system.
Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
road move beneath the chicken?
Bill Clinton (also, again): Define "cross."
That's so true.
ReplyDeleteFeel better.
To counter some of the red tint . . .
ReplyDeleteGeorge W. Bush: It's a chicken, see? And that's a road. It's fer crossin'.
Dick Cheney: Go fuck yourself.
Donald Rumsfeld: It only took one chicken to cross that road. I told you so.
Karl Rove: I have pictures proving that chicken laid a number of brown eggs.