my stomach hurts so now they'll suffer

I have one of those stupid syndromes that makes my stomach go wonky every now and then. That's when I get into writing scenes of pain, arguments, fighting or--on the really bad days--death. If I have to suffer, so do the characters.

For about three months I took medications that made me tired. During that time I wrote a book that consisted of characters looking for comfortable places to sleep. No one seems to want to publish it. . . Hmmmm.

Bleargh. I feel icky. Maybe it's time for that heroine to be humiliated.

update: At least Mistress Matisse has posted something worth feeling icky about. Yes, once again, our leaders have proved that they are on the ball, conquering the troubles plaguing our nation.

Here it is: "a top priority" for the FBI!

Wait, you have to guess.

No, wrong. It's not rooting out corrupt federal officials who screw up emergency response and then push through no-bid contracts with corporations (run by their pals) that make obscene and illegal profits from misery--usually by double- or over-billing the government (meaning us taxpayers, natch).

No, it's not even tracking terrorists. . . .

It's rooting out pornography--the consenting adult sorta porn..
From the 9/20 Washington Post article:

Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales . . .

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

.... Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children.

Go, Roberto!

No, I mean it. GO. Think he'll make it to the Supreme Court any time soon? Bleargh. That's it. I'm going to go kill off a character now.


  1. Hey, I stumbled across my dad's porn collection when I was really young, and they're right, it does harm families and children. Look at the degenerate I am now. Smuggling cocaine inside of babies, illegal arms dealing, the Hmong sex slave ring I run in California, not to mention my vast and depraved baby bunny porn ring in which underaged rabbits do unspeakable things to each other. Oh, and the indiscriminate swearing. Can you really trust a person who takes the Lord's name in vain AND who's watched movies with titles like Bust A Nut in Grandma's Butt?

    OK, I admit it. I'm lying. I've never watched Bust A Nut in Grandma's Butt.

  2. does this mean I can buy a baby bunneee from you? I really want one.

  3. Baby, if you lived in my area, I have an EXCELLENT source of svelte little bunnies and I'd hook you up in a heartbeat. Rexes, lops (of various nationalities, take your pick), assorted dwarfs, angoras...

  4. Kate, let's start a thread: favorite porns. My personal fav: Chickaboom (or is it Chica Boom?) because one of the women is sooo into it. I also liked Marilyn Chambers old films cuz she'd do that thing with her upper lip whenever she was having fun.

    Did you hear that 99% of the FBI agents ordered to investigate had to recuse themselves for conflict of interest? (It's a joke, but undoubtedly true.)

  5. actually that's a line from the article:

    Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

    A few of the printable samples:

    "Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four."

    "I already gave at home."

    "Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."


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