three whine time

1. When it comes to promo, no more first-person notes from characters. No, I mean it, just stop. Let the damn book speak for itself or if you have to have a blurb, fine. No more letters, unless the whole book is in first person. And if you do interviews with your character, good, but keep them private unless we've already read the story. I want the STORY to tell me about the people in it. Dammit. Unless it's your blog, then sure, it's your right, I suppose. Maybe.


2. Why do I find everyone else's over-used word but never my own? Why? Why? Why? I use the trick of going backwards. I read aloud. And yet every time I look at something I've written, I find another repeated-way-too-often word. Solution: never look at my own stuff again. (I don't usually...I was hunting for a section to post in a contest)

3. When it comes to romanceland's male stomachs, we need something new. I mean, wash board stomachs. When was the last time you saw a washboard? Huh? And six pack abs. And flat hard belly. Not that I can come up with a better phrase, mind you. I guess the solution is to stare at a fit male stomach and figure out something new.

I admit.. my first response to this picture is, breathe, dammit! Are those breasts? And where's the hair? And what's going on over at the edge there? Ribs? Yikes. The longer I look at this impressive belly, the scarier it gets. How about Under his taut skin, his muscles were almost as defined as the segmented body of an ant, his ribs like the bug's lil legs. Nice belly button, though.

Comments

  1. Oh, you and your sexy erotica talk!

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  2. Anonymous4:27 PM

    LOL!

    Bugs...

    His muscles bulged and rippled like a centipede trying to cross a highway during rush hour.

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  3. Great post! Amen to your observations on abs.

    I have always thought the phrase "rock-hard abs" sounded rather uncomfortable.

    His rock-hard abs were crisply defined beneath his skin, like cobblestones paving the bumpy road to heaven.

    P.S. What are your overused words? I never noticed any.

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  4. Sorry, but I prefer 'rock hard abs' to what I see in real life.

    When he ripped his shirt off his pale white skin shone in the morning sun, temporarily blinding me. Momentarily sightless I stumbled, only to fall against his sexy jiggly belly, which fortunately cushioned my fall as I bounced off his mid-waist tire.

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  5. Ribs like a preying mantis and eyes to match.

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  6. Abdomen like a segmented worm.

    There must be some kind of software doohicky which would provide a word frequency list. Ignore all the common crap (who cares if you used 'said' 4893 times), but then take note if the word 'lascivious' shows up more than, say, ONCE.

    Sometimes, when I'm proofing, I'll note an odd word and wonder whether I've used it before in the manuscript. Some words truly are once-a-manuscript words. Miasma, for example. Or myriad. Or sepulchral. Well, those three might be zero-per-manuscript words. Anyway, I think I've caught a few overused words by using my word processer's 'find next' function.

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  7. I like his belly button too - I totally want to stick my finger in there. I also want to put my ear against his belly to hear if he's eaten recently, because we all know to look like requires nil by mouth.


    You're also right that he needs hair, even a treasure trail would suffice.

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  8. Seriously the best one I've read was something along the lines of his muscles writhed like he had snakes under his skin. No, I am NOT KIDDING.

    erotica rocks, carrie. Admit it, you wanna do it with a guy who's got a belly like a bug. Anon's description gets me all hot and bothered.

    And the cobblestones are hot. You know the joke, Bettie: Two nuns riding bikes down a cobblestone rode, one says to the other "I've never come this way" and the other says "it's the cobblestones."

    Daisy, your description feels so happy and familiar. Okay not erotic but not SCARY.

    Bugs, corn dog BUGS will EAT YOUR CROWS. and Doug, if you find the software, let me know.

    Lyvvie, treasure trail is a new one and it's good. I remember now, why that belly button looked familiar. I went to a bachelorette party or whatever those things are called and the bride-to-be was doing navel shooters from a male stripper's belly. I am not lying and I will never forget and no, it wasn't me.

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  9. Damn...I wish it was me. I'd gleefully suck some AfterShock from his navel.

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