No more, I promise. Well, maybe one more.

Okay, made the peace, whatever. No more nastiness.

I've thought about it and wondered would I do it again? I'm probably going to be known in some circles as the misguided old biddy who couldn't take a pair of knee socks. What's more is that this whole thing has taken days of my energy. Stupid, but true. I haven't written a useful sentence since Thursday when I got my first email. My internal response to a not-as-bad-on-third-reading email was stronger more than warranted. Oh, and the house is a mess! (okay, that's always true.)

I have to say I'd change a phrase of what I wrote here or there--that's always true of everything I write--but no way am I going to stop blathering about potentially controversial things because other people might take offense. As long as you're not trying to deliberately hurt people's feelings, I don't get why anyone would expect you to hold back on that sort of conversation. As long as it's a conversation it's very, very cool.

I get why it's a tough call to make, though. Is this where I want to put my energy? And it's not like I'm great at the staying above the fray. I'm just as guilty of flying off stupidly as anyone else. I mean back when Karen had her AA book series, I was startled to learn about myself that it only took a word or phrase to send me off like a bottle rocket. I had no idea I had such a huge blind spot about being grouped as "white folks" until then.

But I do believe I know how to get past something that sets me off and learn from my response as well as learn from other people, even when they are upset to the point of lashing out. I think people who are scared of these conversations are so frightened of their own (or other people's) anger or resentment they can't see the value of any topic that contains seeds of strong emotion which is a shame, because the most important topics usually do contain those seeds.

No, I don't think those particular costumes at RWA were important--well, they were to the people wearing them, naturally, and I wish I'd initially found a picture of the wet and wild whatever the hell that is--it was more about image. Perhaps, ultimately, it'll be whether powerful people in an industry (Nora, Jenny, Chris) are allowed to express their opinion without getting misinterpreted as petty tyrants or as trying to hand down some sort of law. . . and well, okay, never mind. I'm not doing this any more.

Enough with the meta, too. I'm going to go read Harry Potter. I already know I'm getting a dinner (Tristan) and a breakfast in bed (my boys) out of bets I made on this book.

Comments

  1. Since you've already finished HP, you're ready for my spoilers.

    ReplyDelete

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