the end of the world is here

ESPN2 is featuring Rock, Paper, Scissors championship. No, I shit you not.

mike: this makes my eyes hurt.
boy1: it makes my brain hurt.
mike: Instant replay? Who the fuck are all those people?
boy1: They must be drunk?
boy3 wanders into room: What's that they--
boy1: shh shh, I'm trying to hear this. That guy's a longshot? Wow.
mike: You're right. Look at all those beer bottles all--
boy1: shh, shh. Fifty grand is at stake tonight? Go Landshark! Won it with a scissors.
me: For god's sake, turn it off, Mike, he's starting to pay attention.

Mike switches to Red Sox.

boy1: Actually I saw that in a Far Side. No really, I'm not kidding. A Far Side comic about competitive rock paper scissors. My brain hurts.
mike: Why were those people there? Why were they clapping?
boy1: My brain hurts. (whimpering) You know what's even worse? I really want to go back to that to see who wins.
me: I knew it.
boy1: I hurt on the inside. (more whimpering) Turn back. I want to see the interview with The Landshark.

red sox goes to ads, channel are switched.

mike: Go Landshark. I'm rooting for the Landshark himself.
me: stop watching it. Stop it. No!
boy1: He balked.
boy1: shh shh. Apparently this guy has a trademark thumbs up with the scissors.
me: No, this is too horrible. I'm going.
boy1: You're not going. You're watching this.
me: Why?
boy1: Just be quiet. We have to decide if watching this or poker is worse. . . . Look, he so did NOT win that round.
mike: Sorry, Kate. It's like a car accident. We have to look.


  1. That's something I never thought I'd see! I think I'd get sucked in to watching too lol.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

what I'm talking about above--the letter in RWR

My Writing Day with an Unproductive Brain