None of you gave me any ideas and since I remain in a sadistic mood (even though the dentist thing was a wash out) you will be punished with a joke from Valerie Parv. I'd never heard it before and that could mean that she made it up. After all, the woman has an astounding ability to play with words.

I mean it. Hold up your thumb and forefinger and bring them so close together you can't see any light through them. Okay. Now. Parv and words are like that.

Hear about the consumer questionnaire that went around, asking people what electrical appliance they couldn't do without?
90% of respondents said their refrigerator.

It was known as the survey with the fridge on top.

Can you give me anything worse? Sure you can, you word masters and mistresses. Give me your old, stale, new and fresh jokes. Just make sure they're as at least as corny as Ms. Parv's** I'll make sure they go to good homes.


**If they are any cornier, please post a warning at the top of your joke.


  1. This is the best joke I have ever heard in my life:
    knock knock
    who's there?
    you know
    you know who?
    that's right, Avada Kedavra!

    I've taught Xavier to tell it complete with wand motion. It's even funnier from a 4 year old.

  2. When we were kids, the old gal next door had a dog named Baby. She would toss tennis balls for Baby to retrieve & sometimes, they would get lost.

    Once, when we were playing ball in the street, we heard her crying out. Baby had found not one, but two tennis balls, and he'd managed to get his mouth around both of them and brought them back to her.

    Here's what she was crying out (Southern accent, please):

    Mah word, Baby's got two balls. You got two balls, Baby, look at you!

    We told that story for years.

  3. My absolute all-time favorite joke is the one about the foo-bird.

    Y'all know that one, right?

    Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

    Who can resist a poop joke? Not I, that's for sure!


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