hot** trend in fart culture
notes from the front lines:
1. If you fart, you must say "safety."
2. If someone who farts does not say the magic word of "safety", someone else can say "doorknob"
3. The "doorknob" person can thwack the farter until farter runs to a door and touches the knob.
practical notes:
a. The door handle inside the car does not count as doorknob.
b. Pulling over to the side of the road and demanding the hitting stop is unfair because they're only "following the rules".
c. The threat of "stop hitting your brother or you walk home" usually works.
I thought my kids made up the safety/doorknob thing--its actually a standard middle-schoolish practice. Stay alert.
**whoops. According to Beth it's a very cold, very old trend.
unrelated addition:
I'm posting this to make AngieW feel better. A child turned his head at the wrong moment while his mother held clippers. This is the aftermath (a profess
ional performed the final butchery).
The child was not shunned by his friends and classmates. Eventually the hair grew back, although it's still too short.
Update on the addition: Everyone must go to angiew's blog and laugh at her. I add my own bitter laughter.
Why? because here I was so filled with pity for her trauma about her baby's haircut that I willingly showed the world how I'd turned my poor child into a Marine recruit/skinhead. I exposed my idiocy only because I was sure we'd shared pain and I wanted to help her Hold her Head up High again. I thought here is yet another mother who'd Made a Horrendous Mistake and had the experience of hearing gasps and "omigod, what have you done to your poor kid, you goober?"
But then. . . she posted the After pictures. Ha. It is to laugh.
1. If you fart, you must say "safety."
2. If someone who farts does not say the magic word of "safety", someone else can say "doorknob"
3. The "doorknob" person can thwack the farter until farter runs to a door and touches the knob.
practical notes:
a. The door handle inside the car does not count as doorknob.
b. Pulling over to the side of the road and demanding the hitting stop is unfair because they're only "following the rules".
c. The threat of "stop hitting your brother or you walk home" usually works.
I thought my kids made up the safety/doorknob thing--its actually a standard middle-schoolish practice. Stay alert.
**whoops. According to Beth it's a very cold, very old trend.
* * * * *
unrelated addition:
I'm posting this to make AngieW feel better. A child turned his head at the wrong moment while his mother held clippers. This is the aftermath (a profess
ional performed the final butchery).The child was not shunned by his friends and classmates. Eventually the hair grew back, although it's still too short.
Update on the addition: Everyone must go to angiew's blog and laugh at her. I add my own bitter laughter.
Why? because here I was so filled with pity for her trauma about her baby's haircut that I willingly showed the world how I'd turned my poor child into a Marine recruit/skinhead. I exposed my idiocy only because I was sure we'd shared pain and I wanted to help her Hold her Head up High again. I thought here is yet another mother who'd Made a Horrendous Mistake and had the experience of hearing gasps and "omigod, what have you done to your poor kid, you goober?"
But then. . . she posted the After pictures. Ha. It is to laugh.
Do they do the cork-it gesture? Because that can often replace the Safety routine when say you're in school or you don't want to get in truoble for yelling SAFETY.
ReplyDeleteAnd is all of this new to you? Because it was rampant in my 4-older-brothers childhood.
It was mystifying to me, I'm a middle school teacher, had no idea what the doorknob thing was, but boy you should have seen the kids making for the door in the middle of the lessons...I'm in an unusual school.
ReplyDeleteSurprise for you at my place, Kate ;)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAh, boys and the endless fascination with bodily functions. It just never gets old.
ReplyDeleteMy charming mean-ager informed me this afternoon, "You're right Mum, snot tastes exactly like egg yolks."
I just noticed you had comments and blogger comments - two sets of comments. How cool is that? lol
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the fart game. I must tell my teenage brothers about it and then laugh as they do it.
ReplyDeleteM