forget the politics, just check out the prose

The most breathtakingly snarky start to a political diatribe I've ever read.

Look, I'm going to make this simple. As simple as I can possibly make it. As simple as the laws of physics allow. I'm going to venture into the madness of the primitive mind, and make it "Dumbass Republican**" simple. I'm going to travel to far-off mental realms, and bring back a map to the Fountain of Simplicity. I'm going to board the U.S.S. Really Fucking Simple, and snag you a seat at the captain's table. I'm going to go to the Republic of Simple, and bring you back a T-shirt. I'm going to call up the Home Shopping Network, and buy you a goddamn Clue at the special sale price of one hundred thirty seven dollars, which is a good deal considering that they have less than two hundred cases left at that price.

I am going to journey past the Singularity of Stupid that has lodged itself in the shared cortex of the planet, fighting the demons of Mental Craptitude that seek to bring about the Dumbass Rapture and Moronic Apocalypse, and bring you the most cherished jewel of all: A Functional Goddamned Synapse.

-Ahem-


if you want to read the rest of it, head to dailykos. But it's a let-down because nothing will ever measure up to this invective. It's a gift, dude.

________________

** I actually considered editing this because I don't want any Republican readers to be insulted or hurt -- not to mention they might not be able to enjoy some really primo insults. I hope you can get past the name-calling to enjoy the talent.

Comments

  1. Wish I had that man's abilities to write. Great article.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate--you have republican readers? Can republicans read?
    Thought you might be interested that I've included your book, THE LAST MIND TRAVELER in my 'dark fantasy/sf/romance bundle' collection. 3 great dark novels for only $7.95. Here's the link:
    http://www.booksforabuck.com/holidays/dark-fant-rom.html
    Hope you're having a great holiday season.
    --Rob

    ReplyDelete
  3. This was very good - he's funny (how did I miss him before?)
    I wish he were a journalist for the NY Times instead of those wussies they have over there now.

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  4. tchah, yah, I have repub friends. one of my best friends from childhood is a repub operative type. Smart, too. Wrong, but smart.

    LOL Sam--now that's one way to boost circulation!

    But speaking of boosting circulation and selling stupid things, (his friend's book, The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse Than You Thought by John Gibson) Bill O'Reilly's been caught drumming up a lie. Red and Green clothes banned. No, not really.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:31 AM

    Hunter, of course. He writes like a NASA rocket launch, smooth explosion in slow motion, just sit back and take a ride on all that lovely fire. Love his posts.

    ReplyDelete

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