middle boy during a dull class

He messes around with play writing. What a future he has, eh? As his brother points out, Castro is not a fascist. But tough noogies. The juvenile humor is what counts....warning: contains bad language, of course.

Fabrizi: Prezidente, I would like to be the first to welcome you to the Fascist Union’s installation here in the US.

Castro: Gracias, gracias. It is my honor to associate with umm…..

Fabrizi: Yes?

Castro: The Fascist Union of Central Kentucky.

Fabrizi: Oh, you mean FUCK?

Castro: Er, yes, yes...of course. So tell me, what have you been working on, General?

Fabrizi: Oh, you’re going to like this, presidente. From this installation we’re going to strike back at the capitalist pigs. Ah, here we are. [Tuco, a hairy burly man, enters.] This is our resident GIRL.

Castro: He’s a girl?

Tuco: Yes, Presidente. I am the General in Rocket Laboratories.

Castro: Oh, I see.

Tuco: Over the past few months, my partner [gestures to Fabrizi] and I have been working on a weapon to annihilate the Yanks once and for all. Presenting [curtain falls away revealing several huge missiles pointing skyward] the Supercharged Heavy Installation Transcontinental missiles.

Castro: [mouths the name silently] The SHIT missiles?

Fabrizi: Yes, Tuco’s quite a GIRL, isn’t he?

Castro: Of course.

Tuco: Using our SHIT missiles, SHITS for short, we will annihilate all of the larger American cities and then our ASS will swoop into action.

Castro: [quietly] ASS?

Fabrizi: Si, president. Assassination Stealth Squad. They will exterminate any of the American leaders who survive. Make no mistake, sir. If anyone survives FUCK’s explosive SHITS, our ASS will get them. Our friends in the clergy have insured that we have Russia’s support.

Castro: The clergy?

Fabrizi: Yes, the Communist Representatives of Anglican Priests or CRAP, located in the Communist Unit of Northern—

Castro: I think I get the idea, goddamnit!

Fabrizi: You mean our General Of Dynamic--

Castro: Shut up! Who’s in charge of these NAMES?

Fabrizi: That would be our Director Administrator of Monitoring Names, Dr. Pedro O. Ortega…

Castro: That’s it, I’m leaving, dumbasses!

[he leaves, there’s a stunned silence.]

Fabrizi: Did you hear that?

Tuco: Yeah, he swore.


  1. OMG! I'm laughing out loud. I always love what your kids write. ALWAYS!!!! Please make them write more.

    my v-word was serious: our-o-men


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