middle boy during a dull class

He messes around with play writing. What a future he has, eh? As his brother points out, Castro is not a fascist. But tough noogies. The juvenile humor is what counts....warning: contains bad language, of course.

Fabrizi: Prezidente, I would like to be the first to welcome you to the Fascist Union’s installation here in the US.

Castro: Gracias, gracias. It is my honor to associate with umm…..

Fabrizi: Yes?

Castro: The Fascist Union of Central Kentucky.

Fabrizi: Oh, you mean FUCK?

Castro: Er, yes, yes...of course. So tell me, what have you been working on, General?

Fabrizi: Oh, you’re going to like this, presidente. From this installation we’re going to strike back at the capitalist pigs. Ah, here we are. [Tuco, a hairy burly man, enters.] This is our resident GIRL.

Castro: He’s a girl?

Tuco: Yes, Presidente. I am the General in Rocket Laboratories.

Castro: Oh, I see.

Tuco: Over the past few months, my partner [gestures to Fabrizi] and I have been working on a weapon to annihilate the Yanks once and for all. Presenting [curtain falls away revealing several huge missiles pointing skyward] the Supercharged Heavy Installation Transcontinental missiles.

Castro: [mouths the name silently] The SHIT missiles?

Fabrizi: Yes, Tuco’s quite a GIRL, isn’t he?

Castro: Of course.

Tuco: Using our SHIT missiles, SHITS for short, we will annihilate all of the larger American cities and then our ASS will swoop into action.

Castro: [quietly] ASS?

Fabrizi: Si, president. Assassination Stealth Squad. They will exterminate any of the American leaders who survive. Make no mistake, sir. If anyone survives FUCK’s explosive SHITS, our ASS will get them. Our friends in the clergy have insured that we have Russia’s support.

Castro: The clergy?

Fabrizi: Yes, the Communist Representatives of Anglican Priests or CRAP, located in the Communist Unit of Northern—

Castro: I think I get the idea, goddamnit!

Fabrizi: You mean our General Of Dynamic--

Castro: Shut up! Who’s in charge of these NAMES?

Fabrizi: That would be our Director Administrator of Monitoring Names, Dr. Pedro O. Ortega…

Castro: That’s it, I’m leaving, dumbasses!

[he leaves, there’s a stunned silence.]

Fabrizi: Did you hear that?

Tuco: Yeah, he swore.

Comments

  1. Corn Dog12:19 AM

    OMG! I'm laughing out loud. I always love what your kids write. ALWAYS!!!! Please make them write more.

    my v-word was serious: our-o-men

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

more fun and hi-jinks at RWA.

To the Board of Directors of the Romance Writers of America: It has been brought to our attention, by several of our romance authors, that your organization no longer considers Medallion Press, Inc. a legitimate publisher according to your guidelines. We were surprised we did not receive official notification directly, but instead discovered it was posted on several RWA internet loops. Accordingly, we request this letter be published in its entirety in the RWR Report so all members may understand the nature of the process that eliminated Medallion as an RWA approved publisher. We will also send copies of this letter to all our own RWA member authors. We are dismayed you declared Medallion Press no longer a legitimate publisher. In July of 2004 we met all of your qualifications without incident by showing sales of 5000+ copies of USA Today Bestselling author Nan Ryan's The Last Dance. Several months prior to Book Expo America 2005, we received a call from your office alerting us to ...
Read more

No snark. Bad puppy. No. (Review stuff.)

A two star Amazon review on His American Detective: "Bodice ripper about gay men by a woman." and I'm longing to comment "don't you mean a waistcoat ripper?" God, no. Stop me. The reviews rarely rattle me any longer -- except when I spot a truth in a bad one. When that happens, I actually lose sleep. This means I still care about writing.  Speaking of reviewers and writers: A couple of days ago, a writer said she was tired of getting white ladies writing reviews of her books. She had an excellent point in the long run: her stories are meant for a particular audience and she wants them to resonate with those people and get more reviews from them.  But that first line was just....horribly obnoxious. I say this from my POV of course. Not a white lady who writes reviews -- but as a review grubber.   Anyone who disses any reader (especially ones that give honest reviews) deserves to be cast into the pit of being ignored.   ...
Read more