grrr, standard edition

I wish someone would come pick a fight with me.

I'm in the mood and I could use the blog traffic to prove I can do PR. No one sez the attention has to be positive, dammit.

Hey, look at me, I'm an ASSHOLE works.

Comments

  1. *pokes you with a grilled iguana*

    *runs away*

    *sneaks back in to say you'll have to go read the comments at Ferfe's to figure out how I just insulted you*

    *runs away some more*

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  2. Hey, that's no fair! that ferfe has 20-30 insulting comments per post. I wanna be insulted HERE.

    I need to show TPTB that I can do things like stand nekkid on a street corner howling and people won't just politely look away.

    And I hope you noticed that I posted at your blog in the wrong damn spot. Grr, again.

    Grilled iguana?

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  3. OMIGOD! Asshole, I said. ASSHOLE. NOT REPUBLICAN.

    Selah, you bitch.

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  4. LOLOLOL....gotcha.

    I haven't checked my comments. I'm a baaaaaad blogger.

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  5. The beef between Nas & Jay-Z drummed up plenty of press. And if it works for rappers, it'll probably work for romance writers, right?

    ONE...
    TWO...
    THREE...
    FOUR ...

    I DECLARE A BLOG WAR!


    Kate, I read on Yahoo groups that you believe toilet paper rolls should be placed in the dispenser with the loose side against the wall. In addition to being JUST CRAZY, your ideas on toilet-papery are MORALLY WRONG.

    Everyone knows TP should be placed in the dispenser with the loose end facing away from the wall. Sheesh! I'll pray for you. I really will.

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  6. I mean, in addition to being a bitch. Heh.

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  7. I need to show TPTB that I can do things like stand nekkid on a street corner howling and people won't just politely look away.

    Look away? Hell no.

    Post pictures.

    I'll get back to you later with something contentious. Like your verification word is 'llflrp', which looks like a sound that a part of my body that I have never actually seen makes after I eat beans.

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  8. Blog fights are hilarious, especially when they get personal.

    Okay, I'll start one:

    Kate, you're a dirty whore!!

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  9. oh you guys are pathetic.
    Bettie. I live in a house with FOUR males. What makes you think toilet paper rolls go on any kind of dispenser?

    Dean, I tried to take a picture of myself naked back when naked blogging was all the rage. I only have a cellphone camera and it's almost impossible to take a photo with it under normal circumstances. Just try to do it when you can't see what you're aiming at. If I git nekkid someone else is going to have to provide teh shots.

    Reese, I'll have you know I'm a CLEAN whore. Just took a shower and did my weekly hair wash. No cameras involved.

    I may have to import Ferfe or someone from DearAuthor to really get the snarling right.

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  10. and I am NOT going to go read the Adele A. bloffle at DearAuthor. No, no, no.

    That kind of thing gets into your pores and ruins your complexion.

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  11. eventually, I mean. Starts out all fun and games. . . but then you find you're covered in it. Ugh.

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  12. Oh hey - this is my kind of flame war - no idea who I'm shooting at - sort of like those poor kids in Iraq.
    I once stumbled on a nasty flame war on a blog. Cured me of wandering around wondering what all the fuss was about. Bunch of over-excited hormonal women spraying venom like machine-gun bullets. Don't know why I keep drifting back to the war in Iraq - must be the republican remark, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't like the font on your blog. You use it on purpose, too, just to annoy me. Because you secretly hate me. And envy me. I can tell. Oh, yes. I'm never going to buy one of your books again. Neither are any of my friends.

    Just wait until I post my 1-star review on Amazon.com. You'll get yours.

    ReplyDelete
  14. once again PBW shows she's a professional and knows how to do this sort of thing right.
    Is personally affronted by something that has nothing to do with her? Yes.
    Raves against me and my books even though we're not actually the same thing? Yes.
    Makes sure to spend a fair chunk of her free time spreading the hatred? Yes.

    Real flaming is ugly, hard work, people! Anyone who walks in and out of a flap and eventually changes the subject, or moves on with her life, is an amateur. A dilletante, only there's no way I can spell that word.

    Sam, when my blood pressure went way up, my doctor actually said "you might want to avoid political discussions." Heh.

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  15. If I git nekkid someone else is going to have to provide teh shots.

    I'll not go after the double-entendre there.

    You call this a flamewar? A flamewar is not a real flamewar until someone invokes Godwin's Law.

    It is not a flamewar until someone has threatened to look up someone's address and drive a thousand miles to meet them. You know, 'mano a mano'.

    It is not a flamewar until phone numbers and boss' email addresses have been incorrectly sourced and posted.

    It is not a real flamewar until innocent people have been severely inconvenienced.

    Mostly, though, it isn't a real flamewar until some right-winger accuses people of supporting terrorism.

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  16. Kate wrote: once again PBW shows she's a professional and knows how to do this sort of thing right.

    Thank you so much. I took a workshop on it back when I was in RWA (rim shot.)

    This doesn't change anything, of course. I know you hate me. You're just being polite now because you're sorry you ever messed with me and my enormous posse of anonymous fat white chicks who won't get a day job. We've got your number now, though. Don't even BOTHER changing the font because I will cut-n-paste the old one FOREVER.

    You Hussy. You Tramp. You Nazi.

    Btw, I've already posted the one-star hatchet job. I slaughtered your worthless novel. Plus I clicked "No" on the "Was this review helpful?" option on every one of your good Amazon.com reviews.

    Face it: your career IS OVER, Rothwell.

    (I'd keep this up, but I have to go take an aspirin and a shower now.)

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  17. "Everyone knows TP should be placed in the dispenser with the loose end facing away from the wall."

    See, now this is the kind of catalyst that would start a war for me. I'm on the Bettie side. I absolutely believe in having the TP end facing out so it's easier to grab instead of fumbling blindly for it. C'mon, who wants to start a rumble over this. There must be a few of you lurking who are wrong-siders and want to speak for your cause.

    Anyone remember Dr. Suess's the Butter Battle book (I think it was called) about the two tribes who buttered their bread on opposite sides.

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  18. People who put their TP on with the free side dangling down on the outside instead of on the inside as God intended are Godless heathens who support terrorists and I am going to look up their addresses and, oh yes, we WILL meet, mano a mano, or mano a chicko, or whatever, even if they are Godless heathen toilet-roll Nazi terrorism-sponsoring traitors.

    Plus I'm going to post the phone numbers of everyone named Rothwell and Bonnie Dee. And I'm going to email their bosses.

    AND MY GODDAM ANTISPAM keyword is 'mpads'. Are you trying to tell me something, Rothwell? Huh? Huh?

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  19. Toilet paper rolls are supposed to be propped on the back of the toilet. Every one knows that.

    And if the rolls ever make it on the dispenser, the important part is that they be rolled way out. Way, way out. And then semi-rolled/gathered in again so that you have a big shapeless mass of tissue with wrinkles on the edges caused by suspicious dampness.

    And we achieved godwins!
    Oh at last...thank you, Dean. {{{happy sigh))))

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is a flame war - happy sighs are out. Honestly.
    At least Lynn knows how to get the ball rolling. I'm signing up for her next workshop on flamewar tactics. Wonder if the next RT convention will let her have one? You'd think so, with all those trigger happy bloghoppers out there. I had one once on my blog.
    Yours is more fun, Kate.

    Let's see - next salvo:
    I HATE Gray's Anatomy. It's the worst show on television. How can anyone take Meredith seriously? And Patrick Dempsey? Yech! He like totally ruined Enchated for me. (no more politics, see?)

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  21. Toilet paper rolls are supposed to be propped on the back of the toilet. Every one knows that

    If there's anything worse than a Godless heathen toilet-roll Nazi terrorism-sponsoring traitor, it's a Godless heathen toilet-roll Nazi terrorism-sponsoring traitor who won't commit to being a Godless heathen toilet-roll Nazi terrorism-sponsoring traitor.

    I am going to post the email addresses and shoe sizes of every person you have ever talked to!

    ReplyDelete
  22. oh of course [headslap] how could I forget? it's meta-argument time! Not taking a stance (wide or otherwise) on the toilet paper issue is the worst of all possible responses.

    if you're don't support us, you're against us and everything we stand for.

    Followed by Wiesel quotes like:
    Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil.

    The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.


    Oh, I love google.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sam wrote: At least Lynn knows how to get the ball rolling.

    Only decent thing I ever got out of that RWA membership. Well, that and enough dumb-looking homemade bookmarks to last me until the new millenium.

    I'm signing up for her next workshop on flamewar tactics. Wonder if the next RT convention will let her have one?

    They won't let me bring my visual aids through airport security. Some stupid rule about no bazookas.

    ReplyDelete

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