no, I haven't drunk any wine

I think it's hard to stop blogging. I'm addicted to blathering to the world blah blah blah. It's fun.

But eventually the whole thing peters out, right? And is it better to go with a bang (or even a small pop) and a cheerio or wait until the only person reading the blog was doing a search for "naked monkey sex" (yes really that's what he was looking for. Nasty of me to assume "he")

My sister thinks that the phrase there is no growth without pain is bullshit. But I sometimes think the only permanent internal growth can come from pain. Reward is too easy to take for granted and not as memorable as pain. Yeah, I presume the world experiences are all divided into carrot and stick and that's bull. A lot is life just standing around munching the grass waiting for the driver to make up his mind. No carrots, not sticks, just you the mule (or is it an ass in that expression?) and some dull grass.

If I wasn't blathering (blah blah blah), and writing books, what the hell would I do instead? It's like unrequited love with a passive-aggressive or just pathetically indifferent lover. The only way to end it is to leave. You want to do that before you kill him/her (or yourself) or get too pathetic.

All those Barenaked Ladies songs about people who don't do much of anything, don't take leaps. At least I took my leap. Half-hearted and not particularly far, but it was a leap.

So that just leaves my greatest fear, which, after watching the 'rents, is outliving my life. It haunts me more than failure. So when do you know that's done? I bet you don't know and neither do I. No outside judges can decide--unless, of course, there aren't any brain waves happening.


  1. I think it's easy to stop blogging for others.
    It's hard to stop your blog for yourself. Especially if you're one of those people who's always had a 'dear diary'. And blogs gave the added perks of having people (complete strangers!) pop in and comment.
    I've pretty much wound down my blog for others. I mean, if someone wants to pass by and see what I'm up to fine, (mostly it's my mom, who says it's cheaper than calling) but I'm not going out of my way to entertain.
    That said, I was wondering about serializing a novel on my blog. What do you think of the prologue?

  2. I'm a terrible commenter these days, but I like your blog. I like knowing you're out there. I mean, I guess you'd be out there even if you weren't blogging, but it's nice to come over and visit sometime. I'd miss you if you stopped. (Because, you know, it's all about me! me me me!)

  3. I'd miss your blog. I check it almost daily although I rarely comment. Various reasons for that. Some of your posts are kind of non-sequiturs. Some are painfully honest (like this one) and I don't want to leave a comment that doesn't address what you've said in a meaningful way.

    You have to decide for yourself but I vote stay.

    PS I don't really do warm and fluffy - this is as close to 'caring' as I get.

    PPS - What does it say about me that I had to put the word caring in quotation marks!

    PPPS Did I mention you make me laugh? Not enough of that in blogland.

  4. Me too, about the checking in here without necessarily leaving a comment. There a number of blogs where I stop but rarely comment. It's easier to be a passive recipient than an active participant, which is what makes me excel at movie and TV watching. I love to watch and think about what I've seen, but I often don't want to interact.

  5. I read every day, though I'm crappy about commenting unless I happen to be in a chatty mood, which lately is...not so much.

    But number me among those who'd miss you.

  6. You're not going to stop are you? Who am I going to tease if you stop? Who's going to make me laugh? Who's going to tell me about the knitted socks? Who else knows this crazy business like you? Who else...
    Well, you get the idea.

  7. Why, I consider myself a connoisseur of naked monkey sex. Much more interesting to watch than when they do it wearing those little organ grinder outfits. I think it's the tassels from their little fezzes swinging around -- too distracting.

    Everyone else has said the nice things, and if I offer a variation on the playground rules speech, Doug will finally hunt me down and beat the crap out of me.

    Just this, then: if you want to vent or hash things out, e-mail me.

  8. Tracy MacNish1:26 PM

    Kate -

    You are loved, far and wide. You are warm and friendly and fun and smart.

    I, personally, would miss your blog greatly.

    I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope you don't think that the time for leaps is over. Maybe new leaps. Maybe new successes.

    For what it's worth, I don't think that someone with your kind of spirit outlives their life. More like, your spirit will long outlive you.

    Re: the above post - come see me!!! We'll hang out, get coffee, and whiiiiine. It'll be super fun!

  9. I love your blog. I get a mental picture of you by the Corn Dog with your two doggies. Maybe we've never met but I feel like we

    I don't know when things are done. That's why I don't cook.


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