here's how you know you're old or have no sex drive or . . .

The hunky college boy down the street is stripped to the waist, mowing the lawn. He's showing off muscles, glistening with sweat.

Your response: oh shit. Those shorts he's wearing look nothing like the ones the boyz own. They're going to want to get new ones, I'll bet.

You're so obsessed with the new style of shorts, you only realize what an uncougar you are hours later.

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