SBD--action figures
I've gone through a period of kick-ass action in my junk-reading and I'm tarred tarred tarred of:
1. any mention of shadowy government agencies with initials (except when said government agencies look incompetent and bureaucratic. That's still kind of funny.)
2. gay side-kicks with great snark abilities. Apparently when you're gay, you can give better comeback lines. Of course if you're in one of those government or military agencies, you're closeted and all funny/tragically conflicted and whatnot. These days at least you gay types get secondary romance.
3. any mention of Bin Laden or Al Quida as bad guy. Make it fictional, dammit. Or Nazis maybe. Don't know why it bugs me so much. Maybe because it's escapist fiction junk and they don't fit EFJ profile.
...and this is the one that killed it for me:
4. people in danger dreaming about sex. Suz Brockmann doesn't need me as a reader so I don't feel bad. Because honestly I'm done. I thought this was an exaggeration. Turns out it's on target.** Those heroes in the shadowy government agency are so led around by their dicks no way they can concentrate on their jobs. There are bodies all around them, guns going off and they slide back to the time when they were sliding into the heroine? I don't think so. At least not the long, detailed sequences.
I'll still read anything with real characters or close enough. Crusie and what's his name's books are just on the edge of annoying, but they still work for me, if they're from the library. And of course Winfree is on my TBR pile.
______
** heh, I said "on target." seriously... I swear to drop-kick the next book with "he shook himself [or his head. sometimes it just takes a shake of the head] to drag his mind away from memories of her breasts so he could concentrate on the six dead bodies next to him, the ten guys with guns skulking ten feet away--not to mention the entire city held hostage by an islamofascist with a nukular suitcase bomb."
1. any mention of shadowy government agencies with initials (except when said government agencies look incompetent and bureaucratic. That's still kind of funny.)
2. gay side-kicks with great snark abilities. Apparently when you're gay, you can give better comeback lines. Of course if you're in one of those government or military agencies, you're closeted and all funny/tragically conflicted and whatnot. These days at least you gay types get secondary romance.
3. any mention of Bin Laden or Al Quida as bad guy. Make it fictional, dammit. Or Nazis maybe. Don't know why it bugs me so much. Maybe because it's escapist fiction junk and they don't fit EFJ profile.
...and this is the one that killed it for me:
4. people in danger dreaming about sex. Suz Brockmann doesn't need me as a reader so I don't feel bad. Because honestly I'm done. I thought this was an exaggeration. Turns out it's on target.** Those heroes in the shadowy government agency are so led around by their dicks no way they can concentrate on their jobs. There are bodies all around them, guns going off and they slide back to the time when they were sliding into the heroine? I don't think so. At least not the long, detailed sequences.
I'll still read anything with real characters or close enough. Crusie and what's his name's books are just on the edge of annoying, but they still work for me, if they're from the library. And of course Winfree is on my TBR pile.
______
** heh, I said "on target." seriously... I swear to drop-kick the next book with "he shook himself [or his head. sometimes it just takes a shake of the head] to drag his mind away from memories of her breasts so he could concentrate on the six dead bodies next to him, the ten guys with guns skulking ten feet away--not to mention the entire city held hostage by an islamofascist with a nukular suitcase bomb."
kinda makes you want to impale yourself on the nearest exclamation point and call the grammarian gestapo, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI can't read those. There's some kinda attitude in the writing that just makes me roll my eyes and close the book before I hit page 2.
ReplyDelete