Not the Papal kind. I'm talking brides gussying up their bridal parties: Botox for bridesmaids.

Feh, says Kate the Curmudgeon, the end of this kind of trend is the second best silver lining of the current financial crisis. First best: Accident rates go way down during gas crunches. and then second: Expensive optional cosmetic surgery might go away and beauty standards will allow women over 35 to raise their eyebrows again.

People I trust not to be goobers get botox treatments and that's usually the gateway for acceptance. If she does it, can't be all bad. WWMFD [mf=my friend) works for me.

But this friend standard isn't changing my mind on botox. In fact, not for most appearance-alterations that involve painful Procedures. It's too much like those National Geographic articles about women putting plates in a hole in their lower lip. Just bizarre.

picture borrowed from here.

Tattoos? Pierced ears? Eh, yeah, okay, WWMFD eventually worked on me and I don't cast a sneering eye on those procedures.

But erasing years doesn't work for me. As many self righteous types say, I worked hard for those crow's feet.

It gets worse. . . I mean, really. From the Times article:
Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced. “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage, and she found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four for the price of two,” said Ms. Lee, who wore a push-up bra instead.

If one o' my kids brought home a bride who wanted me to go get physically altered beyond a hair cut, just so I'd be prettied up for her ceremony, I'd commence weeping and end up red-eyed and dressed in a black shapeless gown like an Italian widow. I'd go out and buy thick support hose and a pair of orthopedic black shoes just for the occasion.

Note to any future daughters-in-law: Okay dearie, maybe I'd take you up on that offer for a spa treatment, even a manicure. MMm backrub.

But botox--not an option. And no thanks for the gastric bypass surgery, ya Bridzilla.


  1. So weird. What will they think of next. Bachlorette bashes with drinks of morphine for the pain....nice.

  2. Hahahaa! Yes, if my future daughter in law wanted to treat me to a manicure or massage - lovely - but you're right - anything else would deserve sackcloth, ashes, and much wailing at the wedding.

  3. Oh. That picture with the needle in the forehead. So. Science Fiction-y. And painful looking.

    I can get a boob job FREE. ALL FREE here in good old California for breast cancer survivor's reconstruction. I don't even have to be a bride's behind. No more Picasso boobs, but it's too much like the needle in the forehead. My imagination runs away with the scene.

  4. There is nothing more grotesque about women than this godawful obsession so many have with botox. Except maybe injecting other stuff into their lips and faces. Some of that crap migrates.

  5. hula, now that's an idea. Better than botox. Mmmm Morphia parties!
    Sam, trouble is, you'd look good in anything, including sackcloth.
    CD, were you tempted? I'd think the enough with the Procedures and messing around with the body. Besides it's supposed to be a badge of survivor's honor.
    lynn. Migrates? Like the Angelina Jolie lips end up puffing someone's cheeks? Really? I'm looking that one up.


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