you know what they say

Ms Ruby, I'll call you but I swear to God, I can't talk any more. Not another word. Shhhhhhhh....And listening is right out, as well.

They are tampering with the mails again. They are opening packages, ripping corners on envelopes, returning items to me without contents. Okay, so they did it twice in the last month. Strikes you as like a lot, too, eh?

In one month, two bizarro mail episodes seems almost worth a call. The cranky lady bellowing about "we pay taxes and all those postal increases and why is there always a line at that post office and when will you get some decent veggie stamps back in" kind of call. I don't make them actually. I kvetch here instead.

I would accuse my postal delivery guy of hijinks** but he doesn't seem curious enough to even read a postcard, much less play pranks. He's the sort who's counting down the days until he can collect a pension. Judging by his youthful appearance, I think it'll be more than a decade, poor man.

**that is such a good word. The i, j, i combo is nearly perfect visually for the jumpy around feel of the meaning. Then there's the codgeresque aspect. Yay!


  1. Biddy of the Year, 199711:10 PM

    Yikes, you must've typed this last piece after you had a glass of wine... Maybe you should cover your mailbox (or yourself?) with tin-foil to keep the aliens form invading your mail (or your brain?).

  2. When I lived in Clarksville TN, I had a PO box. VISA sent my new card to it. A postman opened the envelope, took the card and left the envelope in the PO box. I brought it to the attention of the Post Master Idiot at the station. He blamed VISA for not licking the envelope. The postman used the VISA card. The Post Master Idiot said they corrected the situation and told me to have Visa send a new card to the same box. I know. You are now thinking, "Who is the idiot here?" I did. The postman took it again.

    It is all a conspiracy.


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