Thursday Thirteen More Plots I won't use

Totally random. No theme here except maybe hitting the hot markets? Take what you want--feel free to give me a small percentage of the gajillion bucks you make.

1. Past Lives Repression inspired by Doug and Microsoar: Two co-workers fall in love, but must overcome the obstacles of their past lives. One was Cleopatra and the other was Osbert Mudgrubber. At last Osbert finds true happiness with a tax accountant who was a dill pickle in a previous incarnation.

2. The Ghost and Mr. Muir. A gay remake of the old classic.

3. Mansfield Sensibility. A gay remix of Mansfield Park and Sense and Sensibility. Marianne and Fanny set up house together. Fanny learns to unbend. Marianne learns to be self effacing. (note to possible authors: yes! rewrites of dead author's characters AND gay-nitude are all the rage these days. Write that bestseller)

4. Oliver In Bondage. Come on, you know that Oliver Reed as Sikes in Oliver! was hot, hot, hot. Just have to tone him down a bit, give him a playful sense of fun, and we'll get a BDSM HEA thing with the boys. See note above.

5. AstroBoy Reloaded. I don't know the Matrix or anime but they appeal to boys and so there has to be a mix in there somewhere.

5. A Thousand Pieces of Jerzy. Frey and Kosinski get together and write a book that is more of a lyrical, allegorical and whatnot event so no one can claim it's just a pack lies, okay?

6. Archie and the Kitties Two fluffy orphan kittens become writers and depend on their friend, a seedy cockroach, to make them famous. He steals their work as his own. They eventually find out and eat him.

7. I Hold The Line. A writer who's an expert on telecommunications gets an editor on the phone and on line and despite the editor's desperate efforts, the writer won't hang up or unfreeze the editor's computer until she (the writer) makes all of the pitches she's got on her index cards. When she loses one of the cards, the whole publishing company comes grinding to a halt until the FBI can track down the writer. They have less than 24 hours before the company will miss vital deadlines.

8. Space Vamp. Doomed to roam space looking for the right blood type, a vampire lands on planet after planet and bites everything he meets. An homage to Joss Whedon--Buffy meets Firefly.

9. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. A multicultural celebration of today's diverse families. Title changed from One Dad, Two Dads, Red Dads, Blue Dads.

10. The Werewolf Chicken Farmer. Every full moon he loses control and kills his own stock. Slowly going out of business due to an unknown assailant, he cannot uncover the mystery until he finds the feathers in his bed.

11. The Quick and the Dead. Favorite fast meat-based recipes.

12. Beer And Skittles in Heaven. A baby boomer gets hit by lightning and discovers he can channel the dead. He is reassured by various dead people that the next plane of existence is filled with fun, puppies, good food and ways to get revenge for the wrongs done in this world. Guaranteed bestseller!

13. The Secret Dragon of Candide. Another upbeat, only slightly titillating, inspirational melange! A boy wizard, who wants to be a girl, learns to accept himself when he meets a dragon who helps him understand that in this, the best of all possible worlds, all things are possible when you adhere to the law of attraction.

PLEASE feel free to add your own ideas.


  1. So we get a bonus this week. It's the Thursday Fourteen!

    A Thousand Pieces of Jerzy.

    Memories of The Painted Bird still give me nightmares. Which to chose from? The incestuous goat-shagging family. The peasant gang rape of a retarded girl. The giant village clusterf*ck by Nazis. So, so many horrible images I have yet to shed from college.

    Serves me right for taking a course called "Literature of Genocide and the Holocuast." As Alan Rickman said in Prince of Thieves, "It's amazing I'm sane."

  2. Okay, Beautiful Death started as a sort of Space Vamp thing. *cringe* Only not really a Firefly thing--that's another idea I have. Slap me now! Happy TT, even if it's the last one.

  3. I call dibs on #7!!

    LOVE the list, -- a wonderfully imaginative finale to the TT meme!

  4. Yes -- TT is ending!! Didn't you see the post from Leanne on the TT site? She's been driving this for some 81 weeks and is calling it quits. Very sad,...
    The meme police might break down your door if you try and post one next week ;)

  5. #4 could work!

    Screw this "end of thirteen" thing. "Leanne" has been "driving this"? I've never even heard of Leanne and I've never checked the TT site and I have no intention of starting now. I wrote my TT posts, not Leanne!

    TT police . . . really . . .

  6. I like the kitten idea...yeah. That could be good! Again, I can see this working in Japan, only we may need to change the cockroach to a cricket or grasshopper or something. I think the last one could work too, only if it's a girl who wants to be a boy - ever since Candleshoe I've loved Tomboy heroines. And tapioca pudding.

  7. OMG. You have got to write Mansfield Sensibility. And while you're at it, give Oliver in Bondage a go, too. They could be packaged in an omnibus. A guaranteed bestseller to fund your eventual retirement. :)

  8. You know, the boy who wants to be a girl? Wizard's the perfect occupation. It's all men in dresses, innit?

  9. LOL! too funny, Kate. I love The Werewolf Chicken Farmer.

  10. Now, I'd pay to read Mansfield Sensibilities :D Or Space Vamp....I'd be imagining Nathan Fillion as the hero the entire time though.

  11. Hee! Hee hee hee!

    I might just have to link to this in my new nonpesudonomous kidlit blog even though it's not exactly kidlit.

    Maybe I can come up with some kids' book, let's see:

    "Harriet the Guy." A young writer experiences the consequences when her friends find her private notebook and read of her plans to save up for a sex-change operation.

    "Mrs. Frisby and the Prats of NIMH." A widowed rat mother begs for help from a bunch of super-smart scientists, but they turn out to be real jerks.

    Oh, this is fun. There must be more.

  12. Oh, wait. I think I played wrong. Well, it's still way fun.

  13. Are you kidding me? You played beautifully. I love those.

  14. Hi Kate--
    You might be interested to know that I recently got a submission very much along the lines of #8. Unfortunately it didn't work for me but who knows, it might just be a huge best-seller.

    Rob Preece


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