Even my Subconscious is Pathetic
Last night's dream: I was trying to get a guy into bed. I had almost succeeded too. He was nearly naked when he noticed that the wall near his bed was dirty. He said we might as well wash it.
I gave up, got dressed and went downstairs to a writers' meeting instead, where I ate too much chocolate cake. And I think at the meeting I lied about seeing my book in Walmart. **
* * * *
To make up for yesterday and today's whingy posts, here are some words of wisdom and/or inspiration, lifted from another blog.She got those words from a friend of hers, so I think it's all okay in the end. Also, it's a really old entry so that makes it even more okay, right?
The Power of Google
May the Internet be with you.
And also with you.
Let us surf.
Valentine's Day
"If you're with someone, give them a little extra squeeze on Monday. If you're not with someone, squeeze a stranger. A total stranger. Squeeze them tight so they can't get away. When the cops arrive, squeeze them too - cops love hugs. Later, in your cell, give yourself a little squeeze as well.
The Cruelest Month
I once saw February forcefeed a diabetic a Pixie Stick.
When dealing with lesbians
So you have a problem. Just sit her down and say, 'Alright, I'm not going to beat around the bush...' Um. Well. Maybe not those exact words...
Academic Stress
Right now, I have a paper that is so on top of me, it's humping my leg. It's carrying a riding crop, wearing a strap-on, and yelling, 'Who's your Daddy?!'"
Spring Break
Well, I was going to spend spring break in an orgy of self-pity and internet porn. Yeah, two great tastes that taste great together.
French, as a language
If there was some nuclear explosion that was widespread and made everyone be born without mouths, the French could still speak.
Nerdygirl has more sagacity, much of it worthy of greeting card-dom.
________
** long, long ago and far, far away, my books were in Walmart. (The first one, anyway) But I never saw it there. I only know because I got a couple of letters from readers who said they'd picked my book up at Walmart on a whim.
I gave up, got dressed and went downstairs to a writers' meeting instead, where I ate too much chocolate cake. And I think at the meeting I lied about seeing my book in Walmart. **
* * * *
To make up for yesterday and today's whingy posts, here are some words of wisdom and/or inspiration, lifted from another blog.She got those words from a friend of hers, so I think it's all okay in the end. Also, it's a really old entry so that makes it even more okay, right?
The Power of Google
May the Internet be with you.
And also with you.
Let us surf.
Valentine's Day
"If you're with someone, give them a little extra squeeze on Monday. If you're not with someone, squeeze a stranger. A total stranger. Squeeze them tight so they can't get away. When the cops arrive, squeeze them too - cops love hugs. Later, in your cell, give yourself a little squeeze as well.
The Cruelest Month
I once saw February forcefeed a diabetic a Pixie Stick.
When dealing with lesbians
So you have a problem. Just sit her down and say, 'Alright, I'm not going to beat around the bush...' Um. Well. Maybe not those exact words...
Academic Stress
Right now, I have a paper that is so on top of me, it's humping my leg. It's carrying a riding crop, wearing a strap-on, and yelling, 'Who's your Daddy?!'"
Spring Break
Well, I was going to spend spring break in an orgy of self-pity and internet porn. Yeah, two great tastes that taste great together.
French, as a language
If there was some nuclear explosion that was widespread and made everyone be born without mouths, the French could still speak.
Nerdygirl has more sagacity, much of it worthy of greeting card-dom.
________
** long, long ago and far, far away, my books were in Walmart. (The first one, anyway) But I never saw it there. I only know because I got a couple of letters from readers who said they'd picked my book up at Walmart on a whim.
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