SBD what is it with the food?

I think it's funny that bookseller chick and Candy and everyone else is doing food. I'm going to jump on the ice cream wagon. Candy got all shy about the analogy but nawwwww. . . Why not take it all the way to the coffee and biscuits?

what I'll eat:

John Gardner = a thoughtfully prepared and rich meal. Say...something with complex cheeses and home-made pasta. Traditional but with lovely twists. Can't gulp it all down at once though.

Annie Dillard=just like John Gardner only made with green peppers and I really don't like green peppers much.

Judith Ivory or Laura Kinsale= one of those chocolate cakes that's so rich that you moan through every bite but don't want to eat the whole cake at once.

Standard Category= twinkies. Sometimes NOTHING ELSE WILL DO. You can wolf one of these down and not even moan about the wasted calories. but don't kid yourself into thinking it's always homebaking.

Really Good Category= twinkie-like sometimes it is home baked and the filling is a wonderful surprise. Woowee, better than you expected.

sub-standard Category=stale halloween candy. You can eat it, but why bother?

REALLY REALLY bad category (or a Connie Mason School of Writing drop out) = ohhhhhhh wow. So beyond stale it's grown some kind of new and interesting crust that takes it out of the edible foods world and turns it into something resembling a drug. Not quite 'shrooms dude, but it can do something to your brain if you take on too much of it. Don't try to drive after eating this . . . as in don't write after consuming one of these puppies. You might injure your audience.

Really good literary fiction (and the best science fiction/fantasy too)=a meal kind of like the standard great dead white guys (Gardner's my example) except with some funkadelic additions and substitutions. WHO knew you could enjoy guava fruit and shrimp? Oh, yum, avocado ice cream? But it works, dude. WOW. It makes you really think as you digest it, doesn't it?

Really bad literary fiction= see above, only the meal tastes like hell and gives you indigestion and it makes you puke. The worst kind of book because it's served up as something seriously nutritious rather than some kind of funtime cake. Plus it's usually sold in trade paperback so it'll set you back more than it should--particularly when the publisher should be paying you to experiment with the iffy cooking.

Comments

  1. LOL - funny analogies.
    Avocato icecream???
    Rich chocolate cake?
    I'm reading Terry Pratchet right now - I guess he would be toffee crisps.

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  2. Oh my god! I love your food scale of books! Can I adopt it? Pretty please?

    jmc

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  3. Ok - this isn't food - it's backup on the computer system
    - I made a yahoo group just for me and now I upload files into it to save my work. I have to be careful the group doesn't get shut down and there had to be two of us on it - so it's me and my alter-ego Samantha, lol.
    It keeps my files safe no matter what happens to my bleeping computer!
    Hugs,
    Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great idea, Jenn. I'm going to go do that now. I have gmail, but I think a yahoo thing would be easier to organize.

    And jmc feel free to steal anything of mine. Chances are I stole it myself. (The Smart Bitches do it all so much better....sob)

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  5. re: avocado ice cream. Someone on Iron Chef (foodnetwork) made it--don't know what the judges thought, though. I always fall asleep before we get to that part.

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