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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

TUESDAY

The following is a public service announcement: today's TUESDAY. TUESDAY. NOT MONDAY.

It's also a reminder to myself to go to Borders to write. I'll probably be the only one there. My homies are all busy. Kat, Kath, Wendy, Natalie, Jon, etc. It's amazing how fast I've become addicted to having someone sitting at the table typing (or scribbling) at the same time. I hope someone is there to keep me from wandering over to the fiction section.

Also I'm insecure again--it's showing up in my dreams lately:
1.I'm leaving high school or some other huge ending and no one says goodbye. (a recurring dream)

2.I go to facebook and find everyone's unfriended me (last night's dream. even in my dream I thought now this is pathetic)

3. I show up for a party/event/meeting and no one is there because they moved it without telling me. (another recurring dream. Sometimes the reason I'm not told is malicious, usually it's because I'm not important enough to inform)

4. There's something terribly important happening, I can sense that it is vital, but when I ask people they don't know and don't care. Turns out, I'm dying and I really ought to pay attention to these things. Sheesh. (that might be a "dang I'm forgetful" dream vs. "dang I'm insecure about my place in the world" dream)


That's fine. Everyone has to have echoes of middle school now and then as long we don't have to live in That Place.

I have a sense that I've been reading too many romances / best sellers in which a character's position in the world is of major importance. Not just your profession, but your rank in any social circle. Gawd. Get me away from the black and white of that world into some gray again.

At least I also dreamed I was swimming last night. Lots and lots of swimming in cold water and ducking under waves. Felt good and had nothing to do with abandonment.

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