Thursday Thirteen--Reasons You're Not Getting Responses, paranoid edition

Thirteen reasons you might not be getting any answers to your emails to individuals and/or yahoo loop questions.

1. your provider sux or maybe it's yahell's fault.

2. there's a nationwide ban on any email that begins yo dude! Those emails get dumped with no notice. Pffffff. Gone.

3 ditto those that start with the words So I was just wondering if you guys could help me with __________.

4. There is yet another junkmail spot you don't know about. All the answers are gathered there but are only saved 30 days.

5. It could be the rumors started about you. No, no one alleges you did something particularly interesting. Sorry. No extramarital sex rumors, either. Probably you said something to someone who took offense and is out to ruin your good name .....not that anyone had heard of that good name anyway. My guess? They're saying you lied about something or were beyond rude to a reviewer.

6. Kiss of Death Promotions. No unpublished book you like makes it to the big time. They make it, yes, but not big time. . (Hold tight, there's still Bronwyn Parry. Don't give up yet. And we still have more out there. . .) Anyway, don't bother with any emails to writers, they aren't gonna wanna make eye-contact. Who can blame them? KODP.

7. You know, it could be the provider. Just not delivering those messages of yours.

But notes are showing up in the yahoo loops

Everyone's away from the computer, celebrating Edward's endorsement of Obama ~or~ Hillary's West Virginia win

They're busy composing snarky comments about Bush and golf over at

Everyone's outside. It's spring, for God's sake. Except where it's fall.

. They're lining up to buy parts for their GE refrigerators now that GE is going out of the appliance business.

. No, but actually? Turns out it is all about you. They're all talking about it now. Just over there behind that door. The general consensus: it is your breath. Breathe into your hand then sniff even though everyone knows that trick doesn't work.

Only possible solution? Back away from hitting refresh on the email and go for a ride in a car like this.
taken from here


  1. Of course, while you're off riding in that trollmobile, your inbox will overflow and people will quit emailing you because you're so slow to respond....

    It's always yahell's fault. Even if you're nowhere near yahell. :)

  2. I e-mailed Carla Neggers once to pass along a book-copy request from an indy award judge who is a friend of mine, and she didn't answer me (and neither did her publisher.)

    I don't care if someone ignores a personal e-mail of mine -- not like I'm so important I have to get an answer every time -- but this was an award thing, and I was just trying to be helpful, so to say the least I was pissed.

    Thankfully it sorted itself out on the judge's end, and I re-emailed Carla a never-mind. She finally e-mailed me to apologize tell me that she'd been on a ship out sailing the high seas during a biz cruise for a couple of weeks, and hadn't had access to her e-mail. :)

  3. I love that picture. So hilarious - the troll doll mobile. No one writes me back. I have made up an elaborate scheme where the CIA is intercepting all my email, reading them and rolling all over their little van laughing

  4. I hate the ones that bounce back with the message "I don't know you. Go to this link and fill out the form so my spam filter will let you through."
    I just requested a full for Calderwood Books and got this message. Sorry author, I don't follow links and fill out forms. We're swamped with submissions.
    *shakes head*

  5. I'm working on the big-time, thing, Kate. Does big-time in Australia count? Or does it have to be the whole world?


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