Thursday Thirteen FAQ
These really are the most frequently asked-of-me questions.
1. Where do you get your ideas? (Jodi just asked me this yesterday!)
I get most of my ideas about three blocks south and west of my house. When I'm having trouble with a plot, I go for a walk and something usually comes to me.
2. Who's your agent?
Emily Sylvan Kim. I love her. I hope some day to make us both lots of money. (aw, jeez, I hope I didn't jinx anything by writing that.)
3. What does Hilary Sares like?
Nice heroes. If I knew more details than that, I'd probably write the book she absolutely had to buy.
4. I have an idea for a book. It's a great idea but I don't want to write it myself. Can you? Or do you know anyone who will write it for me?
No, thank you for thinking of me though. Check these people out.
5. What kind of money to you make?
Not much and I never know from month to month. Sometimes I get surprised by a check for a foreign sale. Not any more and never often enough. Oh, Lordy, don't get me started on the money. It's a good thing I've got a husband who makes nearly enough money to support us. He's great, but it's worrisome. And the kids. They're getting more and more expensive. There's this field trip and that lost text book. Oh damn, and we've barely put aside any money for college. Maybe one semester per kid. I guess it'll be scholarships and state schools? And it's just next year! I've got an 11th grader! God! I guess we got to get our head out of the sand, but where will the money come from? As it is we never get to go out and I mean some months I don't make enough to buy one meal of pizzas for the whole family and--
hey! Where are you going?
6. Do you have some kind of career plan?
See question two and five. It has to do with money. Of course that's not what I think about when I'm writing. Unfortunately.
7. Do you use special novelists' software?
I use Word and no charts or notes other than a few scribbled things.
7a Can I just show you this great new system I've developed for only $25 limited offer. Right'Rs WeighTM will develop your characters, plot and weigh your manuscript--
No, thanks.
8. Can you introduce me to [editor] or [famous writer's name]?
Sure, if we're ever in the same room and the person you want to meet remembers who I am. I know Hilary, but I don't think I've met my other editors. Oh, I did meet Angie from Samhain back in Baltimore, but I don't much remember much about her because she had her daughter with her.
9. What do you suggest I do about promoting my latest book.
You're asking ME? Good God, ME? Oh, whoops, I get it. You've mixed me up with another Kate. Try Kate Allan. She's a British author who specializes in promo. You could also try MJ Rose. I did write a promo article, but that's more than a year old.
10. Where's the toilet plunger?
I think it's in the downstairs bathroom.
11. Why are we having noodles for dinner again?
Because you guys refuse to eat food with actual flavor.
12. Do I have to?
No, I just said you had to because I like messing with your mind. Of course you don't. This was a free country last time I checked. Every citizen can control his own destiny except for you. You must obey me or be chucked in jail. Or, wait, let's just say you're doing it because you wanted to, not because I told you to.
13. What kind of dog is that?
A dog pound mutt. Rottweiler, german shepherd and chow, maybe.
1. Where do you get your ideas? (Jodi just asked me this yesterday!)
I get most of my ideas about three blocks south and west of my house. When I'm having trouble with a plot, I go for a walk and something usually comes to me.
2. Who's your agent?
Emily Sylvan Kim. I love her. I hope some day to make us both lots of money. (aw, jeez, I hope I didn't jinx anything by writing that.)
3. What does Hilary Sares like?
Nice heroes. If I knew more details than that, I'd probably write the book she absolutely had to buy.
4. I have an idea for a book. It's a great idea but I don't want to write it myself. Can you? Or do you know anyone who will write it for me?
No, thank you for thinking of me though. Check these people out.
5. What kind of money to you make?
Not much and I never know from month to month. Sometimes I get surprised by a check for a foreign sale. Not any more and never often enough. Oh, Lordy, don't get me started on the money. It's a good thing I've got a husband who makes nearly enough money to support us. He's great, but it's worrisome. And the kids. They're getting more and more expensive. There's this field trip and that lost text book. Oh damn, and we've barely put aside any money for college. Maybe one semester per kid. I guess it'll be scholarships and state schools? And it's just next year! I've got an 11th grader! God! I guess we got to get our head out of the sand, but where will the money come from? As it is we never get to go out and I mean some months I don't make enough to buy one meal of pizzas for the whole family and--
hey! Where are you going?
6. Do you have some kind of career plan?
See question two and five. It has to do with money. Of course that's not what I think about when I'm writing. Unfortunately.
7. Do you use special novelists' software?
I use Word and no charts or notes other than a few scribbled things.
7a Can I just show you this great new system I've developed for only $25 limited offer. Right'Rs WeighTM will develop your characters, plot and weigh your manuscript--
No, thanks.
8. Can you introduce me to [editor] or [famous writer's name]?
Sure, if we're ever in the same room and the person you want to meet remembers who I am. I know Hilary, but I don't think I've met my other editors. Oh, I did meet Angie from Samhain back in Baltimore, but I don't much remember much about her because she had her daughter with her.
9. What do you suggest I do about promoting my latest book.
You're asking ME? Good God, ME? Oh, whoops, I get it. You've mixed me up with another Kate. Try Kate Allan. She's a British author who specializes in promo. You could also try MJ Rose. I did write a promo article, but that's more than a year old.
10. Where's the toilet plunger?
I think it's in the downstairs bathroom.
11. Why are we having noodles for dinner again?
Because you guys refuse to eat food with actual flavor.
12. Do I have to?
No, I just said you had to because I like messing with your mind. Of course you don't. This was a free country last time I checked. Every citizen can control his own destiny except for you. You must obey me or be chucked in jail. Or, wait, let's just say you're doing it because you wanted to, not because I told you to.
13. What kind of dog is that?
A dog pound mutt. Rottweiler, german shepherd and chow, maybe.
*snort* most people ONLY remember meeting me because I had my daughter with me. 2 years later, I can introduce myself to someone, tell them where we met (Celebrate Romance 2005 in Baltimore) and get a blank look. Tag on "I was the one with the baby" and Ding! Everyone remembers the baby. I wonder if I dye my hair pink, will I be more memorable than Brianna?
ReplyDeleteWhoa wait a minute!!! Go back to that part about school. We have to "PAY" for that?
ReplyDelete* runs into wife* "Honey? Kate says we are as rich as we'll ever be!!! Do you still have the number for that truck driving school?"
OOOoooOOO I think it's going to be noodle night here too!!
ReplyDeleteHow about, "When are you gonna pose nude like your mom?"
ReplyDeleteWell, there's always a first time.
heck, I posed nude for five years. I did get dressed during that time, but I worked as an artists' model for a lo-o-ng time. Easy money--and it motivated me to exercise.
ReplyDeleteI had a couple of drawings of me made during that time but I can't find them. And the best ones were made by a guy who did very detailed drawings of women's crotches. Hovannes, I think his name was? is? Good artist but not pictures I'd leave lying around.