SBD, generic edition
Jeez. I'm in a bad mood--I'm not selling anything, and I want to sell books to publishers, dammit. So I feel like bitching, but other than that. . .hmmm. . . the whine isn't flowing freely as usual.
How about a sex kvetch? I read yet another book where sex was the only bond between the hero and heroine. Lots of hot, creamy (god, I hate the cream. The heroines all have flipping yeast infections. Goop shouldn't be pure cream all the time, y'all) sex. No shared humor, no knowing glances other than the "I want you NOW" kind. I'm frickkin sick of one track minds. Tension is fun, but it's not the only reason to exist.
Okay, that's an old, used up SBD. Everyone's talking about that.
How about Stephanie Plum? Have I moaned about her before?
That'll make a nice change of bitch pace.
Just as I was ready to call it a day on Evanovich's character, Evanovich got the message. Plum is no longer TSTL. She has matured. She's better at her job. The Wacky Cuteness is still there, but it's not running the show. Even Lulah has gotten less stupid. Gramma? She's about the same. The Ranger/Morelli thing has shifted a bit. I'm listening to "12 whatever it's called" on tape and I'm actually interested to know what she's going to do about them. That hasn't been true for the last six books or so. It's easier to find the books on CD for some reason, and even the reader has improved.
So this means I've regained interest in the series. I'm going to have to keep listening to the books. Luckily the library has a few copies of Evanovich CDs (still haven't seen any of the hardcopies), but I still have to act fast to get at them. Very popular series here in West Hartford.
Sigh.
Which brings me back to my original message to the world today, "Love me, ya morons!" Why can't I be popular? Huh? Why not? I'm going to stomp my feet and hold my breath until I get popular, dammit.
How about a sex kvetch? I read yet another book where sex was the only bond between the hero and heroine. Lots of hot, creamy (god, I hate the cream. The heroines all have flipping yeast infections. Goop shouldn't be pure cream all the time, y'all) sex. No shared humor, no knowing glances other than the "I want you NOW" kind. I'm frickkin sick of one track minds. Tension is fun, but it's not the only reason to exist.
Okay, that's an old, used up SBD. Everyone's talking about that.
How about Stephanie Plum? Have I moaned about her before?
That'll make a nice change of bitch pace.
Just as I was ready to call it a day on Evanovich's character, Evanovich got the message. Plum is no longer TSTL. She has matured. She's better at her job. The Wacky Cuteness is still there, but it's not running the show. Even Lulah has gotten less stupid. Gramma? She's about the same. The Ranger/Morelli thing has shifted a bit. I'm listening to "12 whatever it's called" on tape and I'm actually interested to know what she's going to do about them. That hasn't been true for the last six books or so. It's easier to find the books on CD for some reason, and even the reader has improved.
So this means I've regained interest in the series. I'm going to have to keep listening to the books. Luckily the library has a few copies of Evanovich CDs (still haven't seen any of the hardcopies), but I still have to act fast to get at them. Very popular series here in West Hartford.
Sigh.
Which brings me back to my original message to the world today, "Love me, ya morons!" Why can't I be popular? Huh? Why not? I'm going to stomp my feet and hold my breath until I get popular, dammit.
You know what you never see these days are oversexed authors. You should be the "As Sexy as the women she writes about" author, the one who makes interviewers ask "Are these stories from personal experiences?" and wink and nod. Shorten the skirts, show some cleavage and smather the charm over everyone. Cathie Lette needs some competition.
ReplyDeleteCreamy yeast infections; nice image. Brings enlightened meaning to "To scratch an itch."
I haven't read the Evanoviches; worth looking into?
My husband borrowed Twelve Sharp and I was just looking at it the other day thinking I couldn't be bothered to pick it up - I was tired of Stephanie, too. Now I might actually read it.
ReplyDeleteEr, Evanovich isn't going to do anything about Ranger/Morelli. I saw (I think on Darla's blog) a review of the audio version of 12 Sharp, with an interview w/ Evanovich at the end. Apparently, Stephanie isn't going to get more skills (or change) and there will never be a decision about R/M.
ReplyDeleteBut I thought that 12 was better than the last few.
Sorry, the Evanovich interview was at the end of the audio version, not the review.
ReplyDelete~jmc
Cream totally squicks me out! Ewwww I'm right there with you.
ReplyDeleteLyvvie, I wouldn't buy the Plum series but they're right up front at the library and I'll read them.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I have paid money for her older category romances and I would again. I mean the real ones, not the expanded reprints which are meh.
Janet Evanovich category romances are fantastic. Unfortunately now that she's famous, those old books go for too much on ebay.
fiveandfour, it's worth a fast look at any rate.
jmc, too bad she thinks Steph is going to stay dumb--she's already less of a dootbrain. Or maybe I'm just more tolerant of TSTL. I wish someone would tell me which is true. If it's the second, I'm going to go get drunk.
amie, cream is silly but I started to think about what doesn't make me go ew. Juicy? Wet? It's hard to think of any kind of word or phrase that isn't squickish. Goopy?
How about spooge?
ReplyDeleteHoney? Dew?
If there's some cream, I would think it would be male in origin. That product does after all look something like cream. Without a yeast infection.
Just starting reading the Evanovich Plums yesterday, by coincidence. I asked to borrow from a friend because I enjoyed the category reprints so much. I too think the categories were cuter, livelier, and funnier.
So far I think Steph's something of deadhead, but we'll see. I mean, she should acquire some skills over time, right?
And, have you passed out yet?
Lyvvie, who has TIME to be the oversexed author? I don't know any authors who have that much time on their hands.
ReplyDeleteWET. What's wrong with wet? And warm. Warm and wet are good things. Cream, yes -- cream is pathology. Cream requires diflucan.
ReplyDeleteAs for you, my dear, I love you, and I have every intention of buying you in hardback (or paper if I have no other choice) next time you sell. Yeah, I know I haven't read any of Summer's stuff, but I don't have an ebook reader and besides, Summer is SUCH a trollop.
I really had something to say - until I read Doug's comments. Probably wasn't intelligent, but I did have some dumbass comment to make.
ReplyDeleteNow, when I can catch my friggin' breath, I'll probably just go do the ICK shudder on 'yeast cream' vision then bury my head in a pillow over Summer The Trollop.