middle school teacher experiences

Not mine (I could never do this) but a friend's. How do you deal with middle school obsession with sex and penises?

example one: Upon finding a penis drawn on the margins of an English book.
1. Have a fit and put the entire class in detention
2. Hold up the book (with the approximately 1/2" penis) to show the class and say "Look, a life size self portrait."

example two: A kid screams at you, "Johnny's gonna give me a blow job this weekend."
1. Send both kids to the counselor's office.
2. Say, "Well, that gives you something to look forward to, doesn't it."


  1. The best middle school teachers really know how to think on their feet and access their Inner Snark. I was never that good at it but got better as I went along.

  2. I have found one drawn in a textbook before. It is very easy to find the culprit. You look at it, frown, look worried, and then say, "Whoever drew this must have something seriously wrong with his... equipment. I recommend you talk to your dad or ask your mom to take you to the doctor." Whatever kid looks the most worried or scared is your culprit. It's worked twice for me.


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