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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

as soon as you say the words, everything shifts

"The words" in that title equals anything, not the the big ILY phrase. Bet you thought that's what I meant because I'm a romance writer.

I just wrote an article for savvy authors (won't show up for weeks) and the topic is all about how I have self-discipline! Here are some tricks! I can make myself work without outside influences! As soon as I finished the article, I stopped working. Everything ground to a halt. It's noon and I haven't written a word of fiction--although at the moment that article counts.

I started craving more outside recognition, again. ("Love me, praise me, bring me wine. Tell me my prose smell sweet.") Insecurity about work arrived with a full orchestra's fanfare and a big banner saying "You Suck"

I'm not actually whining, okay, maybe I am a bit. MOSTLY I'm just snickering at how predictable people are. I'll get past this soon enough--maybe I'll go back to Beth's place which apparently has the magically healing power of a lunch with friends. 

But, really...sheesh. Maybe I should start talking about how miserable I make myself, how ugly I appear, and then whammo, I'll be entirely pleased with what I see in the mirror.** Except I don't think we strange, strange people operate in that direction. Silly us.

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**I'm fine, btw. This is just a proposed experiment. Hey, most egos could use a little boost in confidence, right?All in the name of psychological science.

2 comments:

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  2. the spam was in an interesting language. I'm thinking Hungarian, but we'll never know.

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