see this stuff?

It's what you buy when you have the frizzies. Instructions for use are: Dispense 2-3 drops into palm, then spread between hands to form a thin layer. Gently smooth over hair surface.

Nowhere on the bottle does it say "shampoo."


See this person?

What several things strike you about her? Here are the correct answers:

1. She has a lot of hair

2. She's not wearing her goddamn reading glasses.

3. She looks like the sort of person who'd be confounded by simple things.

When this person not wearing glasses runs across a mysterious little bottle, she doesn't think "I better get my glasses to make sure this shampoo before I get in the shower and dump much of a bottle (approx 300 drops rather than prescribed 2-3) on my head."

No, she doesn't.

She takes the bottle into the shower, dumps a shitload, nearly the whole small bottle's worth, onto her head and rubs for about a second before she realizes there's something wrong.

Yessiree, switching gears time because by now you've guessed correctly. That's what I did.

I went through most of a bottle of regular Suave (labeled SHAMPOO) and all of the hot water in the house before I realized it's a lost cause.

My hair is now as dry as it'll get but I'm not taking a picture because I'm lazy. Here's a reenactment of what my head looks like, sort of. Ugh.

I'm thinking I should go through the bathroom and throw out all bottles with tiny print. Or get a big pen and write "NOT SHAMPOO" in big letters on them.

This is worse than the time I accidentally used the dog shampoo.


  1. Anonymous4:24 PM

    I really wish you had posted an "after" picture... ;) That aside - small print on bottles filled with stuff you'd only use in a place you don't wear glasses is bad. Very, very, very bad. But, uh, it seems like you learned that lesson already. ;)

  2. Not Palmolive. Use Dawn.

    Thus spake the survivor of many a hair disaster.

  3. Uncle Andrew12:27 AM

    Julia giggled and giggled as I told her this story...

  4. the answer = hats.


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