as I go through my day.....I ask myself
where are the black pants?
should I go to the RWA conference? What will I get out of it? Will it be worth the necessary drug fog? if I don't have a book out this whole freaking year, why should I bother with the conference?
if I don't go to this middle school concert, will my child be scarred forever? Will I? Why do they schedule so many concerts anyway? Who's idea is it to have so freaking many concerts?
what's wrong with simultaneous submissions and why do I feel slightly guilty now that I've pushed the submit button? I mean it's not like I didn't warn them about each other, is it? and it's not like they're going to buy the goddamn books anyway, are they?
are they?
Why is the dog ripping her fur off again? Isn't that new overpriced dog food enough?
where the FREAK are those black pants?
Why can't the kid wear khakis for the concert?
and hey, oh no, where are the black socks? Who'll help me get that black sox song loop out of my head now that it has started up?
Why can't we have leftovers for dinner? Why do I have to cook something new?
Will it rain? Should I water the new things I planted?
Who took the goddamn black pants?
Why did I eat all those thin mint cookies?
Why'm I so grouchy?
Who hid the muthafricking Black PANTS?
should I go to the RWA conference? What will I get out of it? Will it be worth the necessary drug fog? if I don't have a book out this whole freaking year, why should I bother with the conference?
if I don't go to this middle school concert, will my child be scarred forever? Will I? Why do they schedule so many concerts anyway? Who's idea is it to have so freaking many concerts?
what's wrong with simultaneous submissions and why do I feel slightly guilty now that I've pushed the submit button? I mean it's not like I didn't warn them about each other, is it? and it's not like they're going to buy the goddamn books anyway, are they?
are they?
Why is the dog ripping her fur off again? Isn't that new overpriced dog food enough?
where the FREAK are those black pants?
Why can't the kid wear khakis for the concert?
and hey, oh no, where are the black socks? Who'll help me get that black sox song loop out of my head now that it has started up?
Why can't we have leftovers for dinner? Why do I have to cook something new?
Will it rain? Should I water the new things I planted?
Who took the goddamn black pants?
Why did I eat all those thin mint cookies?
Why'm I so grouchy?
Who hid the muthafricking Black PANTS?
IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE TEH BLACK PANTS AGIN PUT ONE THREE STEAKS IN A EASY TO RIP OPEN BAG ON THE BACK DECK AND CLOSE YOUR EYES OK AND NO ONE GETS HURT. ALSO A DISH OF WATER PLEEZ. DONT CALL THE COPS OR PUT TOFU OUT THER OR THE PANTS ARE GONERS.
ReplyDeleteSINCEARLY,.
NOT SOOZY, REALLY.
I am going to RWA. That should answer your question. :P
ReplyDeleteNo pressure, but you did promise Boy 2. Mid-July would be perfect timing for a visit. And that networking thing too. Peers and me.
ReplyDeletepeople are the main reason to go south. especially eric.
ReplyDeleteROTFL -
ReplyDeleteI have to come back here more often.
I think you DO want to blow sh&t up in your writer midlife crisis, you're just in denial. *eg* Come to the dark side!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
ReplyDeleteSorry. It's the middle school concert thing. It's like a gun to the head, and --I couldn't find the white blouse. I could only ever find the effing off white sweater which showed the bra straps. And yes, it scarred my child for life. Under the lights? It was a lovely buttercup yellow.