Smart Bitches Day--extremes of the unpublished

The contest over at the Romance Unleashed blog is chugging along with everyone happily bitching about plot devices they hate in romances. Very good. Not as upbeat or inspirational as that blog tends to be, but I think some wiseassed bitchery's a good plan for most blogs.

So I'm reading a lot of unpublished work right now, judging contests. A few of the entries I read cause me . . . enormous frustration. Tonight's raging bitchiness is brought to you by the letters PM and S and entries 1 and 2:

entry 1. Hey, I've read this in another contest and it's goddamn perfect. Why isn't this person published already? How come some idiot editor hasn't spotted this story yet? Are they that booked with great stories that they keep shoving this one aside? If that's true, we're all doomed. The writer is way better than I'll ever be. She's a fucking GENIUS. DAMMIT. Get her published so I can read the rest of this book.

entry 2. Uh oh. I can say "close the thesaurus." I can make suggestions about plotting, pacing, POV, GMC. I can point out backstory dumps, errors in grammar. and tag examples all over the manuscript where she could consider making changes. I've made sure she knows that many of my correction are my opinion only, not Fact.

But The Story Sucks. The basic conflict is based on misunderstandings brought about by stupid lies by the hero and the heroine. I suppose that can be pulled off if they're funny, interesting people or they have vital reasons to lie. They don't. The heroine is TSTL, and the hero is a leering, over-sexed pimple on the butt of humanity--if butt-pimples had libidos. I won't go into more detail ... and in fact I think I'll take some out.

I've written paragraphs of suggestions and I've pointed out how subjective judging is. Yet urgh. I can't imagine how she'll feel when she opens the judging package. The numbers aren't rotten but only because I don't see the point in smashing someone down with horrible numbers. (Bad enough she's not going to win) No, what really is depressing is that I bet she's new enough at writing that she doesn't know what's ahead for her. And it's all starting with my little package of joylessness. Maybe, if she's lucky and stubborn, it'll end years down the road with a contract that probably won't pay more than a month's rent. Ugh. I think I need a drink.

Does this count as a bitch, Beth? Or just cranky dreariness?

Comments

  1. Okay, your new blog is weirdly-designed. I can leave haloscan comments, but can leave Blogger comments too. But I only see the Blogger comments on the unique entry-specific page, and I only see haloscan on the main page.

    Weird.

    ReplyDelete

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