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Monday, October 18, 2010

Retreat

Okay, I did the sharing knife series most of the weekend -- as in listened to a book on tape and then uploaded the kindle book. If I were less lazy and in more of an SBD mood, I'd lure more publishers over here to offer me books.

Attention publishers: if you have writers like Bjold, I'll read their books and give good reviews. But I will mention that the number of times Dag called himself "old patroller" got on my last nerve.

For all that it's a new world and fantasy, the series is familiar, warm stuff. Like Marion Zimmer Bradley. Perfect for retreating.

Also I wrote.

The workshops were also familiar stuff but I didn't get the usual "oh, yeah! I've been forgetting about that lately!" aha moments. I miss learning, getting excited about writing, thinking about stories using new tools...yes, yes, I know. It's me, not them.

That "yes, yes it's me, not them" thing rose a lot. I had to shut myself up occasionally when the talk rolled about How To Be Published and the Exciting World of Publishing. I wish to be perceived as more than bitter and snarky. I keep remembering other loops, conferences, events where I'd meet up with authors who were bitter and snarky and I'd think, "oh, that's not ever going to be me. Don't you know that you're looking like someone who's FAILED? I have now pegged you as a FAILURE."

Heh. Well, I got hoist on that petard a couple of years ago so either I move on or stay cackling crone in the corner. Perfectly okay in private--as long as I get the work done too--but out in public I promise to be less of a troll. I am not a failure. I am a happy success story IN MY OWN WAY.

I think I'm getting better at not expressing every thought in my head, even if I have been given one of those perpetually teenaged angsty self-involved souls. It's all the time alone in mom's basement with the cheezdoodle crumbs down my front.

It was good to spend time around other people. I need to come out of the cave occasionally. I realized I need a haircut. I need to grunt less. I need to get off the internet and write. And I NEED to be excited about the story if I can't get excited about the way it's written.

I sort of wish I'd signed up to go to New Jersey conference instead with Lori and Linda because we do cackling crones together so well.

3 comments:

  1. Isn't the Sharing Knife series amazing?

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  2. I loved it. It was absolutely what I needed. And even though that series is done, thank goodness that woman has a bunch more books out.

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  3. Aren't we getting to the point where we're entitled to cackle cronishly from time to time? I liked the Sharing Knife. Not nearly as much as I liked Chalion, but Bujold rocks.

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