one of my mother's day cards
this showed up in my email with subject line "Assignment" after some major arm-twisting.
The Psychological Effects of Mother’s Day on Vicenarian Males
Once again Mother’s Day has rolled around, and just in time for most young men to finish their semesters at college and come home. Just in time for tired young men, scourged by the merciless lashes of academia, to return home simply wanting a time of rest and recuperation, a break from the vicissitudes and troubles of scholastic life. Alas, for many such youths, men just beginning to spread open their buds to the radiance of adult life, no such time of rest awaits them. Instead, they return home, and realize that some arbitrary power has declared that their first weekend home, when they should be doing nothing more than sleeping, eating, and watching tv on the couch, a holiday dedicated to those who squirted them into this troublesome world. Such young men generally exhibit an extreme apathy and a staggering sense of self pity, as if the entire world should weep for them. But, are such theatrics deserved? Do these young men really suffer, or should they just get off their asses and make a stupid card? I would argue that they should. Thesis: Here is your card, and have a Happy Mother’s Day.