beyond Fuck 'Em to let's talk about the weather.

I went with chicken breasts because yeah, as Els pointed out. LUNCH meat.

I had a "what about that weather" response to a letter I got from someone I know. She told me what a good writer I was back in the day, but she really doesn't like what I'm writing now. There is no value in m/m smut.

I started writing a long polite note in response, because her note was polite and she clearly spent time worrying about it. I talked about the way my interests had changed, blah, blah, blah. Sometime in the middle of writing that email, I hit that sweet spot that I've had before and that I really love. . . . Indifference. I'm feeling it a lot these days and I do think it works for me.

I deleted all the explanation and started again with "nice to hear from you," and took it from there with only a "sorry you don't like my latest stuff."

See? I had the truly ideal response. Way better than "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" it's the "let's talk about the weather" moment.

I'm basically polite and I wrote back, but I didn't mention a thing about writing. Because even though she was invested in the topic and spent time on it, I couldn't answer in a way that would work for either of us. And that's when I knew I couldn't care less about that discussion.

When you do the "fuck 'em" thing, you give a damn, or in that case, a fuck. There is emotion, anger and whatnot wrapped up in the issue. You're hurt. You're the kid ignored or dissed by the adult. Shrugging and walking away isn't going to work because you're still involved in your anger. You want to make sure the other person understands even though it's pretty obvious that she never will. Head, meet wall.

With the "let's talk about the weather" response, you have no interest in engaging in the topic. Total disinterest is so much easier and less time-consuming than anger. A dismissive attitude might be annoying to the person who encounters it, but it's sure a lot easier for the person feeling it.

If by some chance, she stops by this blog, I want to make it clear that I don't mean total indifference to HER. I just have no interest in hearing what she has to say on that topic. If she wants to talk tomato plants or music, I'm all ears. That's another thing I like. With the indifference attitude, I can separate what I consider basically asshat opinions from the person holding them. Which, in the long run, makes me less indifferent to them.

I try to listen to all sides of an argument, but seriously, bah. Occasionally having an open mind is over-rated. Closing down the mind is so restful.

Comments

  1. Hmm, the reader has decided that you are no longer a good writer because she doesn't like your subject matter? Why write and complain?

    ReplyDelete
  2. She wants me to write more books like the early ones, which is a nice thing, really. But she also has the anti-m/m romance agenda, and I suspect that was the real reason to write.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I keep trying to convince a gay non-fic writer friend of mine that he should write gay romance. However, can a gay man write gay romance for an audience of primarily straight women who get off on m/m sex? I keep going back and forth thinking it's a brilliant idea, it's a terrible idea. He doesn't read gay romance, so for all he knows (or I know), there are a whole bunch of male gay writers turning out gay romance novels. Sorry to stray from the topic at hand. And oh, I hate vuvuzelas, but it hardly matters since I never watch soccer anyway.

    ReplyDelete

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