Tuesday, April 27, 2010

why, hello.....

I'm sulking because I'm not going to RT but the reason I'm sulking has little to do with drinks or cover models or sessions to learn about craft.*** No, my sulk is sillier and more selfish than that.

I'm in a snit because the party goes on with out me. No one is wearing black armbands because Kate's not there. My name shouldn't come up except with maybe one of those "where is she now?" things.

Those sorts of snits are just useless. I used to say to my family "have fun, but not too much fun." when they went out without me. I wanted to be essential to any one's good time. I didn't want to miss a thing, but more than that I wanted to be missed. (I stopped saying that as soon as I figured out that one of my kids felt sort of guilty having a good time without me. Whoops.)

But really, I can't be blamed for feeling too dispensable, because the internet has turned us all into snowflakes. Tender lil snowflakes that come fast and go faster. Someone melts from view but you barely notice because another fascinating snowflake slides down to replace it.

I thought about this as I ran this morning (more like trotted. 3 miles in 35 minutes, but yes, I'm doing it. Go away, weight.) . . . You spend months at a site, commenting, reading and if you disappear, never to comment again, it's as if you never existed. All that time and effort thinking and communicating vanishes as if your words and input never existed.

I got all glum when I realized that Real life is like that too. A physical presence means the hole you leave behind is a little larger and takes a little longer to fill but not nearly as long as I once thought.

And then I got an email about the ongoing troubles of a marriage that's crumbling, and we can all see that long, painful breakup ahead. And hey, it goes both ways on the web. You can walk away from that site without a backward glance and no one will sue you for back-rent or show up in the middle of the night, sobbing because you've abandoned them.

And then I got distracted by a funny video. So really, real life and the internet can wait until I finish forwarding the video to a couple hundred my close, personal friends to remind them I exist.


***although come to think of it, some of why I'm sulking does have to do with that stuff. I mean at first it's odd but eventually rooms full of screaming, partying women is a good time. dammit.

Monday, April 19, 2010

grumbly lack of SBD

I'd post a review of this Iris Johansen book but I'm too grouchy.

I checked amazon and saw that other people who've read the book grouse about the over-fiesty heroine, but she was all right. Tough doesn't bother me. Other readers complain that she and the hero do a lot of bickering. Hey, yeah, didn't feel like sexy tension, but, still, that didn't get on my last nerve. The plot was all right.

It's that INFO-DUMPING dialogue--"How can I be happy with my wife and two young children when you're still depressed about your divorce."...."You feel awful but it's not as bad as when you lost your son five years ago." That's what made me crazy. Pages and pages of it made me want to scream how come they can write that horrendous dialogue and still sell books?

See? Too grouchy. I took it personally because I just got a couple of rejections and my attitude was unprofessional enough to begin with.


I'd post a review about Shades of Grey, but I don't want to think about the book too much. I loved it despite the Obvious Messages and the Too Too Cleverness of the details. It's the sort of book that, if I think about it too much, it might get all gunked up in my brain. This is why I never wanted to be an English major. I want to respond emotionally to everything. Save the brain power for non-fiction. Or maybe just let the brain power rot. Adios, brain power!

Here is the review: It's a good book and I think you should read it. Yes, it's another grim dystopia but it's an INTERESTING grim dystopia, with welcome flashes of humor and a view of color that is fascinating. Someone was just talking about tasting color or having it create music recently. Musta been talking about this book.

updated: no, no, it was tasting or hearing numbers, not colors. Or hearing music with particular sums? Oh, bother. WHAT WAS THE STRANGE sensory response -- and in response to what? Argh.

Now I have to read Fforde's back list. But first, I'm off to ask the kids if they know what I'm talking about. They'll get that patient look in their eyes as I try to explain but it will be worth it if someone can tell me what disenwhateveritis I'm thinking of. No, not thinking of but edging near.......Argh.

another update: Synesthesia!
Oh, thank you KERRY ALLEN and CHARLENE TEGLIA! thank you. And thank you, twitter. Thank you, internet. Phew.

Friday, April 16, 2010

reboot REBOOOT

I can't be bothered to post all those great reviews? The ones from Mrs Giggles, Speaks its name, and a few others -- so you can all see how great I am (correction: how great Bonnie and I are together). But it turns out, no, these glowing reviews are not being reposted. It's not happening. What a slacker I am!

Hey, but listen, the computer is trying to kill itself so I have to be careful with my time on here. The once perfect Toshiba tries to turn itself off often every few hours, and sometimes it succeeds

Then after it tells me it's a dumped its memory, it takes forever to reboot. And as soon as windows shows up, again, I have to quickly jump over to see what twitter and facebook peeps have to say. And then I have to go dredge up my latest copy of whatever document was open at the time. And then I have to spend about ten minutes cursing because I've lost a chunk of work. AND then more fishing around to see if I can get a more recent version. I never can. But because this is our established pattern, I tend to save often.

My kid's computer has died a faster, more dramatic death than mine. But his is still under warranty so he's still stuck with that baby. Me? I've ordered a new one.

This Toshiba guy's been around for a few years and has been pretty good, especially comparatively speaking. I'm thinking of you, Dell from Hell, may your cursed memory stop me from buying Dell again.

So. That's this week's excuse. Computer woes.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I want to see the spammer's hand book

Crystal sexy lingerie, who told you it was a good idea to post 18 comments saying the same thing over and over and over in a blog?

And why, if you're going to do that, do you post in the same post over and over and over when you're the only poster?

Yeah, really---why in god's name do you do it in a thread where you're the only commenter? I mean it sort of makes sense when there's other people babbling and a spammer add his worthless crap. At least everyone who signed on to see additional comments will see the links. The only person reading this stuff is me. And you must know you're simply annoying me. I'm more likely to click on that "make youre dick a rocktblastter to satisfly her nw!" email than this stuff you're inserting here. Boring.

At least your crap is in the same language as the blog. Most of the spam with links I get here are in Chinese. There are a few in Russian. I figure those are some kind of spy system, a way to communicate without drawing attention of the interwebby national security types.

I want to know who came up with this idiocy as a money making scheme and if anyone's made a cent doing it. And I want to know why I'm bothering to go through and weed out the comments. You and I, crystal sexy lingerie, do have something in common. We are people seriously in need of lives. Just don't come here looking for yours.

Time again to preen

A woman could get used to this. Yessirree.

Bonnie has yet another cowritten book out today, so she's moved along to promoting that one (she wrote it with Marie Treanor, who's another autobuy author for me.** It's a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin.) I don't have any releases of any sort lined up so I'm still hunting around for reviews of our last one, The Gentleman and the Rogue.

They're nearly all thumbs up.

The other nice thing? There are a lot of these "this is a fabu book!" reviews. I have to get ready for work, so later on I'll add more. But for now, here are a couple reviews of TGaTR:

5 out of 5 stars

To say I enjoyed every moment of this story is putting it mildly. The authors have to be congratulated in bringing to life some wonderfully drawn characters and vividly recalling a time in London's history with atmospheric authenticity. The blurb gives the bare bones of the story, and doesn't sound too exciting or different, but it is the skillful way in which the story is told that draws the reader in.

I loved every aspect of this story, and was truly sorry when I came to the last page ~ so I read it all again! Highly recommended.
Jimbo at Rainbow Reviews

Overall, I was completely hooked by this story. The character of Jem was an absolute delight and his exuberant personality was nicely counterbalanced by the more thoughtful and, at times, melancholic Alan. . . . I highly recommend The Gentleman and the Rogue to all those who love historical romance. I'm hoping that there're going to be more historicals from this pair of authors because I've certainly liked what I've read so far. Highly recommended with a grade of 'Excellent'.
--Jenre at well read review

I just hope there isn't big backlash from this. You know, people disappointed in a book that gets too much hype. (Hey, listen, someone has to find the cloud in all this silver lining. That's my job.)


**Despite the fact that I'm a drooly fan-girl, I've never met Bonnie or Marie. Their Sammy editor is a good pal of mine (I got her that job, yes, I did. All right, maybe she got it but I did alert her to its existence and pimp her to Angie) AND here's some gossip -- she always breaks into "And they called it puppy loooove" when she mentions them. You know. Bonnie and Marie? Donny and . . . Never mind.

That's the extent of what could be called gossip, because the actual conversation we have is always boring.... we tend to devote about ten minutes' talk about how much we like B and M's writing and how it's only a matter of time before they get on a best seller list, etc etc etc.

Monday, April 12, 2010

one week later

A week? Why didn't I post during the whole week?

Nothing to say hasn't ever slowed me down. Maybe it's because I don't visit other blogs much and so don't get inspired.

But now it's SBD and I have to report in.
Reading this week was almost all Books on Tape. That's so I can multi-task---I can't just sit around and read a book. I have to do other stuff, like ummm.....ummmmmmm....clean the house? Naw. Cook? Sometimes. Wander aimlessly around the house? Frequently.

I listened to a Victoria Dahl contemporary that was, eh, okay. Actually it was good enough, and it made me curious enough that I bought the next in the series (this one for the Kindle) and this book I seriously enjoyed. The main character, Jane, was way too obsessed with her good girl image, but I believed her thinking and her reasons why she clung to her image, even when I got annoyed with her dumping The Perfect Guy over and over, ostensibly because he had *gasp* tattoos and steel toed boots.

Her true reasons were forgivable, I think, but still it was annoying. At least she was annoyed by her actions too. To counterbalance that, the hero was almost too perfect....but not unbelievably so. And when she finally got around to the aha moment of forgiving a particular teenaged girl, it was worth the rest. It worked. So flaws aside, the book was almost as good as Jenny Crusie at her best.

Speaking of which, I'm currently listening to Crusie's Charlie All Night and it's fun. Good old Fluffetty fun. Do not underestimate the power of fluffetty fun. (And Also. Do not just listen to it, Kate. There must be a balanced diet........although, come to think of it, why?)

Monday, April 05, 2010

SBD Julie and Romeo again

I got the first book from the library and now I have the second. All the things I liked about the first are here. Great voice and humor, sweet but not too winsome. Just enough gentle snark to work without being over-the-top New York nasty. Kind of chick lit for older women. I love Jeanne Ray and wish she had more books out.

BUT there's just one tiny thing wrong and it's like a sore toe--ruins the walk.

The older daughter is essentially rotten to Julie and the younger one isn't a lot better. I don't mean they steal her car or take money from her wallet. I mean the way they talk to her. And then the other generation isn't doing so great either. The granddaughter runs the show. Get that girl some earphones, for God's sake. And professional help.

Since we're talking about me me me (see basic blog philosophy: it's all about the blogger) I know to an outsider (or some outsiders) what I let my kids get away with would make those outsiders' teeth hurt, they'd be clenching their jaws tight trying not to inform my kids they can't talk to their mother like that.

And maybe it's because I can see some of my own self in that way she has of just trying to make her life easy by ignoring their rotten manners to her. It's easier to let rudeness go rather than get into a fight about it.

I'm not guilty of bad parenting, I don't think. Just about every parent in the world has a tolerance for a kid's behavior that no one else can stand. Maybe it's the way the kid sings the same song over and over. But at a certain point, the kids have to stop. Say, once they move out of the house. Yeah. Then it's done. There will be no more demeaning talk. But these are adults we're talking about.

IN this book, the 40 year old and 36 year old daughters get away with talking to Julie in the same manner I let my kids get away talking to me sometimes. My excuse is the kids are teenagers and it's easier not to constantly fight when their hormones are running the show. I do draw the line when things are calmer. And if it keeps up, eventually I plan on telling them, no, you're an adult, I'm drawing a line here, sweetie. I don't talk to you disrespectfully, you don't talk to me as if I'm a moron. Of course, my kids will point out that I do, in fact, talk to them disrespectfully, so they're not the only ones who have some act-cleaning-up to do. But this will happen. Has happened in the past, will happen again. There is a certain modicum of respect that one must treat even one's relatives with.

The heroine of this book is always sweet to her kids and grandchild. Always loving, not sarcastic, nothing like me.... but the way they talk to her? As if she only has one brain cell firing? As if she doesn't have basic rights in her own house to boff her boyfriend? Even if they had the ugh response to 60-something-year-olds getting it on, they should keep it to themselves.

Anyway. Ugh. Hard to get past that dumb detail so I can pay attention to the rest of the book. I want her to tell those adult kids of hers to straighten up and fly right. I want to shake the kids so much it makes my know what I mean.

Anyway, that detail is what's sticking. It's like listening to a whole song that's off key. The words might be lovely but that one note off means the whole thing is kind of ....painful. That might be the conflict driving the book but it's even worse than the standard misunderstanding sort of conflict that can be solved by a conversation. This could be solved by a "keep it to yourself and pretend to be polite even if you don't feel that way" foot down conversation.

Although it did end up fine. So it was nice.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

bah, hum...oh, never mind

I did not like April Fool's day for two reasons: I'm extremely gullible and I have boy children.

This means I end up feeling like the perpetually grumpy-because-of-constant-mockery Jamie on Mythbusters.

Just because it's easy to do, doesn't mean you should do it over and over and over, boys.

Except every April first for the last few years there have been fine contributions to the holiday culture by GOOGLE and SMART BITCHES (along with fellow smartassbitch, dearauthor) This means that now I have to love it.

and hey, lookit!

Mrs. Giggles gave our book an 89!!

add in a lot of sunshine today and my personal case of curmudgeonitude is pretty thoroughly quashed.

***note, we did not have to pay her $9.99 for the review. or is that a $99.99 review? I don't know if it's a high B or low A.