Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Kinda nice

More than once I've met someone and have thought "wow, I have nothing in common with this person and no interest in getting to know them." Not aggressively anti-those-particular-people, just no connection.

And at least three times I've known the person was destined to never be a pal, I've been entirely wrong and I've ended up with three very good friends.

Come to think of it, at least once someone I really like now first had to move from a "ugh, no way do I want to get to know this person." to yay, friend!

First impressions can be bogus.

That's all. No biggie, just something I was thinking about. I like remembering how wrong I was in those particular situations.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I'm over at Hero and Heartbreakers

I wrote about the internet as the Regency Ton. I think I should have used shorter paragraphs. 

The best part of those Regency novels--at least the ones written a couple centuries later--is the cant. So much more fun to say someone is "top of the trees" rather than "a hot shit."

Although hot shit isn't half-bad, come to think of it.

Today I went to one of those stores that has changing stock all the time, Marshall's. I found a display of tiny dog clothes that would fit our new tiny dog. I had to fight the urge to buy the little snow suit for next winter. Not only is she a yapping dog, I am turning into a yappy dog owner. EEEK

Monday, May 21, 2012

Writing exercise

not T's card, but the same scene, basically
T sent me a postcard from England:  On the front is a photo from Polesden Lacey in Surrey,  picturing a charming Venetian well-head in the rose garden.

On the back:
write a short story 1000-5000 words (or longer) incorporating
1. the scene on this postcard
2. an adventurer/traveler
2 a quote from John Donne:
For love all love of other sites controls.
And makes one little room an everywhere. 

My answer is after the jump.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

a question for fiction writers

I've always had vivid, often memorable dreams. Sometimes, when I try to recall a memory of a place, I'll pull up something about a dream that took place there and have to remind myself that it was my brain, not my true experience, that conjured that aspect of the place.

I don't mean plots of dreams stick with me (sometimes they do, but not often. Usually when I write down a plot of a dream it makes sense for a while but when I read it as soon as a few weeks later I'll think WTF? Huh? ) it's more sensations or bits of them that stick as strongly as true memory. I can recall the feel of flying almost as clearly as I can remember what it's like to stand with my feet sinking into sand when the edge of waves wash over them. 

Anyway, I wonder if this is part of the brain of a fiction writer? I'd look this up, but I'm lazy. Not enough sleep. Too many dreams.

Monday, May 14, 2012


See "writing these is not a choice time, boys" explanation in middle boy's contribution. ("Ted" who did not appear in the middle boy's play also did his mother's day tribute as well, but it's not going to end up on the blog. But let me just point out that it's sweet, cute and I love it too.)

The AGREEMENT OF MOTHERHOOD to be made between the FIRST PARTY and the SECOND PARTY is to begin on INSERT DATE HERE and to conclude until one such party shall deem it necessary to renege the contract. For further contractual bindings of both parties, see various and sundry other forms to be provided by a legitimate LEGAL CONSULTANT

It is agreed upon by the FIRST PARTY shall give access to the SECOND PARTY, freely and without expectation of recompense, all blood, nutrients, genetic material, mucous, housing etc., for a period no more than NINE MONTHS during which time the SECOND PARTY will, by his/her undersignature here, agree to GIVE AN OCCASIONAL KICK to indicate that he is present. This period of mutual codependency shall be known as the PREGNANCY, and shall expire upon natural expulsion of the SECOND PARTY, or unless OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES call for OTHER PROCEDURES to be elucidated by a designated pre-natal/immediate post-natal specialist.

After such time as PREGNANCY shall end and the SECOND PARTY'S lease shall expire and he shall be expelled from the WOMB, he will cry and scream for a period of no less than A FUCKING BILLION GODDAMN YEARS, during which period the FIRST PARTY (and any parties attached to the FIRST PARTY via legal binding matrimonial or otherwise) will acquire approximately TWO HOURS of sleep a night. During this period the FIRST PARTY agrees to provide all amenities deemed by a relevant authority to the SECOND PARTY'S welfare and, if deemed necessary by the FIRST PARTY or any part connected with the FIRST PARTY, any sort of recreational/leisure amenities deemed appropriate to the SECOND PARTY'S felicity or mental, physical, or emotional development. This period is from hereinafter referred to as the DEVELOPMENTAL PERIOD

As the FIRST PARTY shall fulfill all terms and conditions elucidated in ARTICLE II and ARTICLE III (see above) in respect to both the SECOND PARTY or any number of SUBSEQUENT PARTY'S (n, n+1, n+2... n+x), so shall the second party, after a period of time NOT EXCEEDING the time tentatively outlined (though not explicitly stated due to lack of empirical/accurately evaluative evidence) in ARTICLE I (see above), the SECOND PARTY shall assume responsibilities deemed necessary by the FIRST PARTY. The SECOND PARTY shall possess minimal say in these assumed responsibilities to the extent that he can COMPLAIN or THREATEN TO RUN AWAY TO THE CIRCUS. The FIRST PARTY'S rights in regards the SECOND PARTY extrinsic to the legal bindings of THIS CONTRACT are elucidated in FORM 24875B-c6.

If the FIRST PARTY acts in compliance with the duties outlined in ARTICLES II through IV, then the SECOND PARTY is (among other duties elucidated on FORM 24876-d2) obligated through their signature to be signed under this contractual obligation in some way recognize the noble efforts of the FIRST PARTY via a TOKEN(S) of some sort.

The order of preference of the sensual medium of the TOKEN (S)is to be (listed in order of preference): written (visual), spoken (aural), topical, tasted (oral), or nasal. In regards the number and nature of this TOKEN(S), the SECOND PARTY is contractually obligated by their undersigned signature to provide minimal ONE (1) TOKEN(S) corresponding to the sensual medium of written (visual), spoken (aural), and topical. Optional TOKEN(S) may be supplied corresponding to the tasted (oral) or nasal sensual media. The nature of these TOKEN(S) must be LOVING and GRATEFUL in recognition of the contractually obligated duties fulfilled by the FIRST PARTY in regards the SECOND PARTY outlined above (See ARTICLES II-IV). If the FIRST PARTY deems the presented tokens corresponding to the first three categories of sensual media insufficiently LOVING and GRATEFUL, please refer to FORM 24878-a1.

The nature of the proffered tokens as embodying the articles LOVING and GRATEFUL shall be the express right of the FIRST PARTY. Reference may be made via appeal by the SECOND PARTY by their filling out FORM 24878-a2, to be read over by the legal consultant of both parties in the event the SECOND PARTY opts to appeal the judgement of the FIRST PARTY concerning the TOKEN(S)

The SECOND PARTY, in recognition of the fulfillment of ARTICLES II through IV, and in recognition of the contractually bound duties bestowed upon him in all sub-articles of ARTICLE V, and in recognition of the legally binding nature of the relationship between the FIRST PARTY and the SECOND PARTY alluded to and temporally bound in ARTICLE I (for more information on the nature of this relationship consult the pertinent forms to be provided by a LEGAL CONSULTANT), will hereafter express, via a token corresponding to the sensual medium of written (visual), his wishes that the FIRST PARTY experience all due JOY and MATERNAL BLISS endowed upon her via her fulfillment of all duties elucidated and alluded to in the above articles.

Happy Mother's Day!

Sunday, May 13, 2012


Traditions! The breakfast in bed is no longer delivered (by the off-spring, anyway), the big spring-cleaning not an all-day event--however the homemade card is essential and nonnegotiable. This is one of this year's cards.

 The Battle of Mother’s Day             
                      Cast of Characters                          
     MOTHER: Matron of the Mavis clan and harried homeowner                                                                                             
     ANDERS: Wicked malformed eldest child of MOTHER                
     ALDUS: Middle child; he is a paragon       
     TED:Does not appear in this manuscript                         
     THE LATE BUDDHA: A deceased, saintly figure         
Scene The Mavis family room 

Time Midday                                                           

Scene 1
ANDERS is sitting on the couch, being wicked and malformed. Enter from the kitchen up. right MOTHER, looking very nice.
Anders: Do you know what day it is today?
Today is Be-Ungrateful-and-Unreasonably-Spiteful-to-my-Superior-and-Attractive-Family Day, known also as Every Day.
Anders, that is wrong. You are as stupid and empty-headed as you are wicked and malformed. Today is MOTHER'S DAY.
Is it MOTHER'S DAY? I was too busy not bearing you grandchildren and festering in my own various discharges to notice.
It is.
Have you made the prerequisite Mother's Day Card I badgered you (quite justifiably and while looking very nice) into making? Like your saintly brother, Aldus? Or Ted, who will not be appearing in this scene?

Monday, May 07, 2012

me! me!

Lookit! An article about me!

Kate Rothwell/Summer Devon, a romance writer, tells how she does it

I do like the fact that at least I share similar work-habits with Kristan "Actually an Extremely Nice Person" Higgans. And we live in the same state.

Don't mind me. I'm in the post-release funk--the kind that comes when the book doesn't immediately climb onto any best-seller list and you realize that this one didn't get there either. This one isn't going to sell like hotcakes and why not? Whose fault is that? Mine. It must be me. This results in a low-grade self-pity that manifests itself in snark and the decision to quit writing forever.

The snark will be gone by the time I finish this post. The decision to quit writing might last a bit longer, at least until tomorrow when I go to Barnes and Noble and Linda rolls her eyes and me and tells me to STFU. (This treatment must be applied in person. I'd ask Mike to do it, but he [with one eye on the bills] asks 'why don't you get another job?' a reasonable question that has me looking and even applying for work every now and then.)

In other news, my oldest graduated from college. No really, I'm not lying. He is that old. So far his gifts on achieving this great milestone are a chocolate cake and letting him sleep in today. I'm thinking the dog (see below) might be mostly his if they bond.

Can't do better than a dog, eh? He suggests naming it Molly, after Molly Bloom, which celebrates his other huge accomplishment: he read all of Ulysses. 

Any suggestions for gifts for college graduates--gifts that don't actually cost any money? I can't come up with many either. Maybe I'll do his laundry for him. Once, anyway.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

What is she?

our  dog on Wednesday
Animal Control Officer Sherry: The coloring and pattern is yorkie.

Me: Her body's kind of long. So maybe dachshund too?

ACOS: I see terrier in her face. Also I'm not sure about the lack of tail.

Me: Corgi?

ACOS: Or she lost it. Who knows what her life's been like. I picked her up in the worst neighborhood in Hartford. She was a stray.

Me: Her eyes are a bit buggy.

ACOS: Hmm. Pom maybe.

Me: or pug? Although she does have elegant legs, so maybe min-pin?

Did we leave out any small breeds besides bishon frise or poodle? They might be in there. 

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Service Professionals

More promo and then I think we can all agree that we have better things to do. Today's assignment: tell us about your life working in restaurants. We will nod and say, wow, yeah and give a sympathetic wince, because, dude, that work is HARD.

Which is more fake: the clean towel or the wine?
We're over at Carina talking about our short unglorious careers as waitresses--although I guess my few years working in a bar wasn't bad at all. I miss that life occasionally. Or maybe I miss the part of me that could keep chugging along in that sort of life with happy feet at the end of the night.

I've been reading Charlaine Harris lately and Sookie keeps talking about how she's looked down upon by various people because she's a waitress. I never felt that when I was a waitress, but then again, I couldn't read the patrons' minds.