promo and rocks and condoms

Hey look! Someone finally reviewed my book.

The book hasn't been real popular. As one pal said** the book "sold as well as frozen dildo pops at a church luncheon. (And actually I think the pops would do much better.)"

Funny thing is I knew Bam was going to review another Summer novella because there's a picture of Taming Him at her site, but then whoops! there's a review of Revealing Skills.

__________________

**about her own book. I'd identify her but she might not wish to be associated with the remark.


* * * * *

As part of a promo kick, I've been doing interviews. And since I'm writing as Summer, people keep asking me about my Sexuality. So here are two stories of My Sexuality that are actually not about my sexuality, but try to convince my parents of that. Don't bother, they're dead.

I showed up when my parents were in their mid-40s and figured they were done with the kid thing**. My parents were so hands-off, they left me for long weekends, starting when I was about 14. And they sure didn't talk to me about sex, never ever.

Except twice.

SEX STORY 1.

I was in a field with my boyfriend and we were running backwards. I am a klutz and I fell. I landed on a rock that hit my crotch, hard. Ow. I think even bled a bit. It hurt enough that my parents noticed my discomfort or maybe I told them. Anyway I eventually confessed: "I was messing around with Eric and I fell on a rock and hurt my-- er, myself."

They took the matter very seriously, which they tended not to do (six kids and you get kind of casual). They even made an appointment with a special doctor, an ob/gyn, for the next day.

The doctor ushered me into her room, examined me. After the exam, she told me that I would be fine, but did I want to talk about "the rock"?

"It was a rock in a field," I said. "And probably the heel of my shoe because I landed funny. I didn't think I needed to go to the doctor but my dad--"

"I think we need to discuss the fact that you probably need some form of birth control," she interrupted me impatiently.

I said, "Oh, that. I'm okay. My boyfriend's dad works at a clinic." I'd been sleeping with the guy for about a year and I had been fitted for a diaphram, but I didn't bother to tell her that.****

It only occurred to me long after the fact that none of the adults had believed the rock story. It was true, dammit.

SEX STORY 2.

The parents went away for a long weekend. Friday afternoon, Gretchen, her boyfriend and I were watching television and Gretchen got bored. She went through her boyfriend's wallet and found a condom. Hilarity ensued as he tried to get it back. We ended up ripping the package open and using the condom as a water balloon. The boyfriend got mad and left, I think? I can't remember that part.

I slept in my parents' bed until they got back. It was not a great weekend because I think Gretchen and I fought about something (we usually did) and I lost one of my favorite earrings.

The night they got back, My Parents called me into their room for A Serious Talk, something they almost never did.

They both watched me as my father held up my earring. "Whose is this?"
"I've been looking for that," I said. "Thanks!"

A long uncomfortable silence followed. My father held up half a condom wrapper. "We also found this. Can you explain?"

And I did. I told the truth. Would you believe me? I don't think my parents did either.

__________

** You can imagine how truly hands-off they were when my two younger sisters showed up. The girls had been my cousins but then their mother died and we got them. Oy. Poor chickabiddies.

****I was insanely lucky that the boyfriend knew about that stuff because I sure didn't. Sex, yes, I knew about that already.

Comments

  1. Anonymous5:45 PM

    Holding.sides.laughing.head.off...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:45 PM

    PS - you REALLY need to write a young adult novel. Please?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:20 PM

    LOL..no one believes the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. wylie, I'd probably put happy sex in the story and that's just bad, bad, bad for people under 18 these days. Bad.

    and corn dog, it didn't help that I was a terrible liar (and I mean terrible in both senses: I did it all the time and I tended to make up outrageous stories) But I WASN'T lying both of those times! I have witnesses! I wonder if Gretch and Eric remember.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I always had the problem of SOUNDING like I was lying even when I told the truth. No one believed me, either.

    What's wrong with happy sex in a YA novel? Don't we need to provide kids with models for joyful sex?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous3:03 AM

    That is so funny.
    Adults are so weird.
    LOL
    My mother never believed me when I told the truth, but when I lied she was perfectly happy to believe me.
    My kids hate me because I have ESP.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't remember the rock, but the roll was unforgetable.
    were we 14? That was a long time ago!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm pretty sure we didn't start going out until we were fifteen and I'm older than you.

    PS Hi!

    ReplyDelete
  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh, truly priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  10. a few months only, and you would be older if only because you used to have so many birthdays EVERY YEAR!

    ReplyDelete
  11. My impression is that some happy YA sex is okay--Meg Cabot can get away with it--but only a little, once in a while. And probably not for one's first YA novel. Just a hunch; no inside publishing scoop.

    But hey, some progress is being made: thanks to David Levithan and his ilk, we now have some happy YA gays! And they even get to have sex, sometimes, sort of, in a very soft-focus way. So, maybe happy straight sex is next.

    ReplyDelete

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