Holiday, jolly holiday.
the trouble is most of the counterbalance to the usual stuff--
(memories of people who died years ago touching off seasonal mourning? not enough sunshine? unfulfilled expectations? misunderstood words? ignored words? old and new resentment? too much work? not enough? too many people around? too lonely? too many invitations? none not enough money to enjoy the holidays? cold? dark?)
--is produced by the industries that want you to shut up and buy buy buy. (does anyone else remember that spray painted slogan on the bridge over the Charles River?) Personal honest sweetness is hard to separate from the manufactured treacle. And everything is coated with an air of desperation. Hey, come on, a bit of treacle is fine, but it's released this time of year with subtlety and volume of a fire hose.
Happy Holidays is a command to get with the program. Good thing there aren't holiday police out there.
I swear I really am fine. I was listening to online people, mostly at facebook. The biggest complaint seems to be the money thing, so people really do buy into the buying thing. Or maybe they don't want to complain about their real issues with the holidays?
In my case--I don't have little kids anymore so this part of the year feels less real. This season, those long-gone little guys are the ones I miss, even more than the dead people.
Also a community movie would be nice. I miss that, too.
So, as usual, when I look closely, it's hard to find a source for genuine, stop-the-presses sorrow.
I do seem to be doing a strange combination of PROMOTION and GRIM lately.
It's my natural inclination to be negative but hey, it's good to understand the path to and fro those dark spots in life. I want to make sure I understand there's an escape hatch. Or, if there isn't a way to get out, a way to get through? It's my eastern European blood mixed with Irish blood. Almost inevitable.
Also? It takes practice to sound upbeat about being downbeat.