let's start this partaaaaaaaaay

Apparently when I launched my latest self-pity party, other attendees showed up. Authors who have had horrible reviews wrote to me to complain. They're staying private--not revealing their identities because they're professionals, unlike some people** .

I wasn't going to mention this issue again, because who wants to be known as the continuously whiny windbag?

But I'm not stopping yet just because it's finally turning fun. I'm working on the details of a new author support group.

There first order of business, of course, is the monthly prize for the worst review. I'm thinking chocolate or whine. An old group I used to belong to handed out a cowbell for the annual absolutely worst review, but the competition grew too fierce. We also had teeny tiny little buckets with the word "always something new to throw up about."  on the side.

What else could this new support group do? I'll bet there are other authors banding together out there to do things like sneak attacks on reviewers (ewwwww) or unhelpful votes on reviews (huh) writing each other positive reviews (hmmm).  But that seems too proactive for my group. This is all about Immediate Support and Recovery. Not a slap-back and revenge thing.

Obviously the name has to be an appropriate acronym WHINE or KVETCH.
suggestions included:
WAHH - We Authors Have Hearts!
ARGH - Author Recovering from Goodreads Hatred (I have no problem with goodreads, but apparently lots of authors do. It's hard to ignore the whole kerfuffle about the reviews being removed)  
BARF  Beaten Authors Raging Futilely

One of my correspondents is from California, so she's good at establishing Rituals. She suggests including the group moan and wail followed by the cleansing ceremony. Hard to do over the internet but maybe you can skype a good smudging? Less smokey and perhaps just as purifying. 

Just because I'm a facilitator doesn't mean I'm going to hang around for the show and tell portion of the monthly meeting. For one thing, I'm over the need for this -- at the moment. I say we all slip out after the ceremonial quaffing of the wine***** and go watch a movie, and maybe write a really scathing review of it later. 

__________

**specifically me.  
*****but not before my newest innovation: the ritual popping of balloons, which signifies sudden violent deflation of authorial egos.  Best to use real balloons for this because otherwise it's not as much fun. Still, many of us can sneak out before the slide show of author calming visualizations.

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