Congratulations, SBD

Smart Bitches Day is a year old?

I wish I had a good present to give it. I don't. Here's a local SBD retrospective instead. Sometimes I put in links, and sometimes I put in a bit of the SBD post. Not always. You want consistency? Pay me to edit this crap, okay?
Onto the year of SBD at This Blog.

humor.
You can always do an orgasm on your own. The standard picture of aroused people is with closed eyes, head back--off in their own world of sensation. Check out all those women on the clinch covers. Orgasm is a private moment.But when you have a laughing fit with another person? The meeting of the eyes is a powerful thing. A simple wiggle of the eyebrows, a little smirk and -- you both go off again. Yeah, okay, the smoldering look across the room is fine, but I like it when people can't make eye contact across the room because they'll start laughing again.

Just say no to dildoes (not really SBD, but it's sort of romantic. Okay, not really even a little bit.)

My first romance.
I read it, enjoyed it more than I thought I should and left it on another bus--but it was too late. I'd been left with that horrible inspiration that eventually leads so many well-meaning people down the garden path, past the pergola of good intentions, to the ha ha of doom: Huh. I can do better than that.

What gets you happy in a romance .
I posted one of my examples above.
Sam said: OK - I'll admit - I'm a sucker for a Cinderella story, it gets me hooked every time, lol. However, if she gets amnesia and pregnant and has a secret baby the book flies into the nearest wall.

loathing heroines.
But I'm not even sure why I wrote this part of it? I think this is a tangent--there are a lot of those in the blog.

For Whom do I write when I'm working on a book? Absolutely no one. And the one time I tried to write for an audience I failed miserably. It's Second Book Syndrome, a common occurence in which the writer turns into an author and suddenly realises people are going to actually read her dreck--and suddenly there are too many scary people between the writing and the author. The author becomes self conscious and grows hysterical and drinks a lot of wine. Eventually the writer loses interest and moves on to a new neurosis called Omigod Second Book Due In One Month Syndrome.

a fun toy (create your own romance covers) from January.

A chocolate recipe on SBD

Another chocolate recipe

November. why it works.
I'll bet I've said it before: romance can help what ails you. Everyone else has said it. Every conference I go to has a big name romance writer speaker who talks about the most horrible moments of her life with the climax of her speech being How Reading/Writing Romance Helped Her Through It.** We're all sniffling along with her and then uplifted at the conclusion. Yowza, talk about endorphins. (Not to mention the buzz brought on by sharing common emotions)

Everyone's talking about romance as food.
Judith Ivory or Laura Kinsale= one of those chocolate cakes that's so rich that you moan through every bite but don't want to eat the whole cake at once.

Standard Category= twinkies. Sometimes NOTHING ELSE WILL DO. You can wolf one of these down and not even moan about the wasted calories. but don't kid yourself into thinking it's always homebaking.

Really Good Category= twinkie-like sometimes it is home baked and the filling is a wonderful surprise. Woowee, better than you expected.

sub-standard Category=stale halloween candy. You can eat it, but why bother?



Pirate Day sneering about the fakey-pants pirates of romance.




"avast, matey, Starbucks off ter port bow. Fetch me a mocha latte or I'll lash ye to the capstan and drub ye wi' broken bottles. 'N mark ye, plunder the CVS fer some wax. I be feelin' some stubble near me navel."






I'm getting bored with this. A couple more and then I'm done. . . okay.


August in which I figure out porn is almost always romance. (Kate tries to rile people into posting. No one does)
Last night when I couldn't sleep and read a whole lot of stuff over at literotica.com I mean A. Lot. Of. Stuff. And except for the stories in which the writing was so bad the work was about body parts coming together, I was suprised to discover that even the very basest, most despicable stories--the stories labeled "nonconsent/reluctance" were about...relationships.

Another snotty entry this one is about other writers. (again no one rose to my bait)
So I'm reading a lot of unpublished work right now, judging contests. A few of the entries I read cause me . . . enormous frustration. Tonight's raging bitchiness is brought to you by the letters PM and S and entries 1 and 2.

After that it's July and the other blog and I have to go get a kid from school.

hey! so!
HAPPY ONE YEAR SBD!


Comments

  1. YAY! Happy birthday to us!

    Holy shit. Sarah and I have been running SBTB for just over a year. It really hasn't felt that long.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn, Kate. All those links, all that reading. How am I supposed to get anything done?

    I blame you for my inability to write a stirring speech this afternoon encouraging all my school board members to give a raise to teachers. (Default--I'll just jump on the table again and threaten them with pencils. I've got most of the pirate lingo down pat at this point.)

    Oh well, SBD is basically a guaranteed time-waster as it is....

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know I'm a day late and all, but YAY for all the great reading material smooshed conveniently into one post! Huzzah for smartbitching!

    I always do love that you participate in SBD, Kate, even when it's obvious you're not in the mood for it sometimes. You're such a team player!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I posted a rant one day late too. The never-ending party?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I cussed myself out for not thinking of this first. Bare Rump's snark on spider romance novelist Bronwyn Webweaver would have been worth a link-back, and I think I've done a few other memorable SBDs, too. Oh, well.

    I still don't have enough orgasms for next week, so I may have to COME up with a different plan ;) (Whoever said puns were beneath me? Nothing's beneath me.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy birthday Snark bitches - er, Smart Bitches! LOL
    Love their blog and this was a terrific post - YAY for Kate!!

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  7. I thought that was Silent But Deadly...

    ReplyDelete

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